The Bridge of Compromise

As a child, we learned pretty quickly what we enjoyed eating and what we thought was disgusting. Some children rather enjoyed carrots while others refused to eat them resorting to tears if they were forced to partake. Knowing what we like is very positive but we shouldn't be so quick dismiss the unknown without at least sampling. By eliminating what's strange or unfamiliar we miss out on a wide variety of foods we might find pleasurable if we were willing to at least try them.

As we mature and encounter different life experiences, we continue figuring out what we like or dislike and sort these behaviors, traits, people and things accordingly. We become well versed in what we expect in our relationships and what we consider unacceptable. There are characteristics and conduct implicit just as there are things you judge unpardonable offenses. With each person, the list of what is desirable in a mate varies as does the list of what is deemed an unequivocal deal breaker. We set up walls, build barriers and pull in bridges that might possibly provide access to what lies deep within us. These preconceived notions prevent and work against the rewarding art of compromise.

While it's healthy to set boundaries and not allow yourself to be taken advantage of, abused or forced into something undesirable, we should be careful we don't become rigid and immovable. Often we are so focused on our list of 'do's and don'ts' that we rationalize ourselves out of a fruitful relationship. We get so focused on the past we can't see the future of possibilities. Automatically, anyone reminding us of unpleasant memories is dismissed when they could be the person that inspires you, motivates you and helps elevate you to another level. We forbid people the opportunity to make us uncomfortable. We don't want to go through the process of getting to know someone and possibly being disappointed, hurt or angered so when we encounter the first sign of these negative emotions, we cut off the flow and as a result disconnect from the nurturing and edification at the same time.

Some view compromise as weakness or giving in when it's actually an invaluable strength. It is much more difficult to look beyond self and what feels comfortable than to consider someone else's thoughts and feelings. It is effortless to stand fixed and inflexible having your way, winning and not having to concede your will; simply wallowing in self-exaltation. How much more difficult is it to set aside pride and take another into consideration?

Remaining immovable, you prevent the opportunity to grow closer to others and nurture relationships by exercising loving-kindness. The Word of God says:

"Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another." - Romans 12:10 (NKJV)

"A kindhearted woman gains respect. A kind man benefits himself, but a cruel man brings trouble on himself." - Proverbs 11:16-17 (NIV)

"He who earnestly seeks after and craves righteousness, mercy and loving-kindness will find life in addition to righteousness." - Proverbs 21:21 (AMP)

As we walk in kindness and regard others, we are positioning ourselves to be recipients of that same compassion when in need. By meeting the needs of others, we guarantee our needs will be met. As you give the gift of compromise, you build up and bring minds together while holding onto self produces separation and division. Aren't we to walk in love with one another? The Word of God defines love as:

"Love endures long and is patient and kind.... Love does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful..." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 (AMP)

Time and again, simple communication can result in seeing things more clearly. Having an open dialogue can provide insight into motives and intentions. Honest conversation can dissolve predetermined assumptions, dismantle stubborn resolve and reveal common goals, shared dreams and kindred spirits.

When we prohibit compromise, we prevent the betterment of ourselves and those we are in the position to compromise with. The word compromise is composed of 'com', meaning with or together and 'promise' meaning to assure somebody that something will certainly happen or be done. Collectively, compromise is bringing together with assurance of a better result.