The Camel's Nose - a Teaser

"I am, he can see me."

"But what if he hits you?"

"Then I'll sue him."

"What if you die?"

"Then I'll be in Heaven not worrying about being hit by cars. You guys will have to sue him."

"What if you are paralyzed or end up in a vegetative state?"

"Then we'll sue him and buy a really nice wheelchair. Have dad paint racing stripes on the sides and I'll forgive him for screwing up my life."

"Why do you always blame him for your problems? Its not his fault that you are the way you are."

"What kind of logic is that? Are you implying that I am Popeye?"

"James."

"Am I Popeye?"

"James, please."

"No, I want to know, Am I Popeye?"

"..."

"Great, I'm gonna marry a girl named Olive Oyl. Just perfect. If my life wasn't any more screwier."

"C'mon James, you need to calm down."

Calm down? How can I be calm knowing that my future wife will always be in danger of falling through grates into drains?"

"You're just changing the subject. Why do you blame your father for how you are?"

"Because he thinks that he can still control my life!"

"Well, you aren't paying any of the bills."

"That's just it! He didn't teach me how to be independent! Even birds teach their young how to fly on their own."

"Yeah, by pushing them out of the nest. If they don't learn fast they die."

"What is this, a documentary? Now you're changing the subject! What I am saying is that he didn't instill in me the proper work ethics or any decision making abilities. I can't even tell the barber what haircut I want because of him."

"Well that would explain your hair..."

"Not now ma. He always makes me second guess myself or question my decision. I always end up a nervous wreck when asked to do something."

"And what do you want me to do about it?"

"I don't know! Is there anything anyone can do at this point?"

"Just what are you going on about?"

"Well now its too late to do anything. I guess I'll just live my lives as a bum or something. Roam the streets looking for a handout, since that's apparently all that I am good for."

"Really now, I think you are taking things too seriously. Your father doesn't mean everything he says, it's just that sometimes he's a little tired when he comes home from work."

"Oh and I'm the one that makes excuses."

"Watch out for that car."

"Don't worry he can see me."