The Career of My Dreams that Got Away

I have been a nurse for over 28 years and I've worked very hard to get where I am at in the medical field. However once upon a time, I felt as though I could have been somebody. Maybe in some ways, I could have been a whole mess of people at different times in my life, but the cards never seemed to be stacked in my favor.

It all started in what seems like a lifetime ago when I had finished my first book, which was about my life and facing years of domestic abuse. I was sitting in Lake Charles, Louisiana and the phone rang. The woman on the other end of the phone asked me if I was the writer or the agent to my well marketed book proposal and I replied writer. She told me that she was with Simon and Schuster and was delighted to have read my book proposal and excerpts and was very interested in publishing the material. I remember at first I thought she surely was not who she had claimed to be, but if she was I was truly honored. I told her quickly that it sounded great and I remember feeling my heart jump quickly to my throat, however she quickly added that Simon and Schuster would be happy to deal with an agent but they did not deal directly with authors. I remember thinking I was clueless and stating how sorry I was and she replied she was sorry too but she couldn't speak with me about the matter any further.

I think that was my moment in time, hanging by a phone line I had my dreams raised, only to be shattered at that moment by my own innocence of how the publishing and marketing world worked. I remember it took me a long time to get back into the game and I even got noticed by somebody connected to the Oprah book club section. However that too seemed to go nowhere fast, no one was interested in a small town girl who against all odds still dreamed of a better life.

I had been beaten and bruised all those years at the hands of someone only to have my story read and acknowledged by many for its feeling and raw talent, yet fall by the wayside because I had somehow put the cart before the horse. I remember the Simon and Schuster lady had used the analogy that I had done things the "Star Wars" way and I had to back up and start over.

I have always wanted to go back and redo that spot in my life, because I truly feel that my writing career could have been so much more than what it is now. Don't get me wrong, I love freelancing writing and I love nursing and for the most part I have combined the two really well. Writing medical teaching articles and also freelancing a few minor projects published over the years, while my real masterpiece still patiently waits on a shelf in my office. My book is and always has been every blood droplet that I shed put down into words and now it somehow sits waiting for me to try once more, waiting me to find courage like I had before.

If I had my dream job, it would simply consist of becoming the writer that in those few precious moments so long ago was taken from me. The End.