The Case of the Unwanted Reach and Grab

Personal space--a concept that most of us learned early on. You were taught by your parents and teachers that it was impolite to reach out and touch somebody else without their permission. That you would "invade somebody else's personal space" if you touched them, and that this was a "no no". Along with many other life lessons, we learned this basic one in nursery school. Sure, you might have used it to annoy a sibling or friend when you were angry or mischievious, but you knew that it was wrong. So why is it that some adults never learned that lesson, or at least choose to ignore it?

For some reason, a pregnant belly or adorable baby seem to be far too tempting for some adults to pass up. I admit that when I see a pregnant woman I will ask how far along she is (so long as she is clearly pregnant) and I almost always stop to coo at or admire a baby. I however do that from afar, not up in the face of either unwilling participant. I write this with a bit of sarcasm of course, but also wondering why is it that the life lesson of not touching others is not adhered to. When you're pregnant, the last thing you want is to have somebody rub your belly. In fact by the time you're showing, you are likely sleep deprived, feeling uncomfortable, and just plain ready for that little baby to get here. So the last thing you want is somebody rubbing their hands on your growing belly.

Even worse to me is when somebody comes up and grabs your baby's hands or face. Believe me, I've seen both! I feel very fortunate to have what I feel is an adorable baby girl, and I am always grateful when a stranger comments on such. I am however not a fan of somebody coming up and grabbing my baby's hand or putting their finger on my baby's face. I can't imagine ever doing that, no matter how cute the baby. It's almost as if it's slow motion when you see a stranger's germ laden hand going towards your baby--you want to stop it but it's over before you realize it.

So what do you do? These people certainly mean no harm, but you are likely grossed out by this if you are anything like me. I have found that a simple statement said in a kind way such as "oh that's sweet that you say that about my baby, but she has a cold so you may not want to touch her." You're not insulting anyone, rather giving a mindful warning--and if you are able to utter the words before it's too late, have saved yourself and your child from the unwanted reach and grab. Body language can be everything too, if you are feeling the reach and grab coming up, then perhaps turning the stroller away but giving a kind smile can speak volumes. If all else fails, you can always rush to the car or restroom as I have done before and use a wipe to clean off the germs. I'm not a germaphobe, but I will say that it was an unwanted touch that I am convinced gave my poor daughter her first cold at the tender age of two months. I can't prove it, but I'm convinved in my own mind.

It's a bit more difficult when you're pregnant, but turning away with a big smile can tell your potential grabber that you are not having it. I have friends who have actually spoke up about the situation, or in some hormonal filled scenarios have gone off on the reach and grab victimizer. I wouldn't propose that, but pregnant woman are capable of a lot. I of course write this with a joking tone, but I hope that this will serve as a message the next time somebody has the urge to reach and grab. I think that in most cases you can get away with a lot if you smile and nicely state that you would appreciate the grabber refrain.