The Challenges of a Platonic Relationship

This may very well be the battle of the ages, I mean sexes. It is an age old question and one that never seems to get a clear answer. People are passionate about what this means to them and quick to say who's right and who's wrong. Men and women both argue for it and against it. What we all want to know is can men and women really be just friends? By friends I mean platonic friends. No feelings, no attraction, nothing. Now if you're like me you just jumped the gun and exclaimed "no way." Well you're not alone,I fully believe that men and women cannot remain friends for an extended period of time without one or the other attempting to advance the relationship. Why do I say this? Simple, because I see it all the time and because of the laws of human nature. This is a heated argument and sparks will fly. Not only from the debate but from the "friendships" that are slowly evolving into something more.

Let's look at male/female relationships first. If you start a relationship based on friendship it is likely to advance itself to the next level. This is why the best relationships are founded on friendship. Friendship forms a sturdy foundation for a solid relationship and gives it the potential to last longer. But why do women and men mingle in the friendship department in the first place? I think its a two fold answer. First of all women and men enjoy each other's company on many levels and when you have the same interests a friendship will naturally develop. Men and women enjoy spending time together, in fact its much like dating but without the pressure. A lot of it is eased off when the relationship is strictly a friendly one. In a way its a pseudo relationship. You can have many of the same comforts without a lot of the hangups. The second part comes from what I believe is an underlying attraction. There has to be some level of attraction which keeps up the relationship. Something had to draw you to this person in the first place and something is keeping you there. Something that causes that friction and also lends to a great relationship which some believe would be even greater if pushed past the limit.

So now that we know that there is some level of attraction, does it have to go both ways? No. Simply put, there are a lot of unrequited feelings attached to these sort of relationships. Someone inevitably always ends up getting hurt. Often times it seems that the people in the relationships both want to move forward but never at the same time. This scenario can play out for years taking on many different forms. Often times one person will start dating someone else exacerbating the situation.

While we're on the subject of dating it appears that in a friendly relationship like this the friendship never lasts when one starts dating another person. It's hard to maintain a relationship with a person of the opposite sex when you are in acommitted relationship with someone else. So the friend that you had becomes less of a friend as you become secluded in this relationship. We all know if that relationship were to end you would run right back to your friend. The level of attraction is still there and often it finds itself emerging even through new relationships.

You might be wondering if this means all male/female relationships are doomed. I wouldn't say necessarily. If you are involved in one I think the best thing to do is remember there are challenges involved in this type of relationship. Know that there are risks involved and you may or may not hurt the friendship if you try to advance it. But, it also may be the best thing to do if you can take that leap. Relationships founded on friendship tend to be the best and the longest lasting kind. Know your boundaries and know the risks, then proceed with caution. Remember if you can't be platonic then what does that leave? You may have to make thedecision for all or nothing, weigh your risks carefully and be ready for that leap.