The Challenges of a Sunday Morning

I very rarely attempt to go anywhere by myself anymore. So far I've managed the Grocery Store (which I won't be doing again), Play-dates at the mall (works well until there are diaper changes involved), a home decorating store (we won't be doing that again, glass was involved and it wasn't a pretty picture). So to go to church Sunday morning, have my little one's prepared (twins who are 14 months old, and a 3 month old) to go to DIFFERENT classrooms (they separate by age, and this means double the diaper bags and bottle coolers), feed my family a somewhat decent breakfast, this includes a bottle for the baby, one meal for the twins, and something decent for my husband, get the kids cleaned and dressed, get me cleaned and dressed, and at some point manage to wake my husband, and get HIM cleaned and dressed, this is, if I'm lucky about a two and half hour process.

Understand that I'm doing this by myself. No help. And admittedly, a minor hangover from the previous night. Church starts at 10:00 for us. We have to leave at 9:30 to be somewhat on time (this does not allow for putting the kids in the car, and then removing them once we are there). So here is the time-line:

6:00am - Feed the Baby. Baby refuses to burp, and then spits up all over my pillow.

6:30am - Get baby washed off, changed, dressed, and asleep in his swing.

6:45am - Place sippy cups with milk as quietly as possible in twins crib. This was a terrible attempt, and I end up falling over a rocking horse thing, and bust my head on their mini kitchen. Now the girls are awake, and jumping up and down.

6:50am - Shake it off. Place twins on floor with Sippys. Start Elmo movie and leave.

6:55am- Place bacon in sink and begin to thaw.

7:00am- First attempt to wake husband. I am ignored and so I go to shower and change.

7:30am- I am clean and in clothes.

7:45am- Begin cooking bacon. I hate cooking bacon. It almost never works.

7:50am- I start making the separate coolers for the outing. Because that's what it is. Two sippy cups with Juice. Two bottles of Formula. 4 Graham crackers.

8:00am- The bacon looks like it might need to be flipped. Bacon gets flipped. It spatters, but I'm wearing black so I don't care.

8:05am- Put more effort into waking husband. He rolls over, grabs the remote control, turns on the TV and proceeds to return to dreamland. Don't worry though, this is major progress.

8:10am- In my return to the kitchen, I discover smoke. Having decided that the heat is to high on the bacon, I turn the vent on. Two slices of toast go into the toaster, and I split a banana on a paper plate.

8:15am - I go get the girls. Change their diapers, undress them completely, into high chairs. I hand them their banana's and then flip the bacon again. The bacon has taken on a strange orange color. I am worried, but attribute it to the fact that I've never used this brand before.

8:25am- Spread Peanut butter on toast and cut into bite size pieces. Serve to girls, for which they grin and are thankful.

8:35am- Scramble four eggs and start to cook. Stir, Stir, Stir. Eggs look done, Remove from pan and put on plates. Place into microwave.

8:45am- The Bacon is burnt. It is black. Why did i not realize that I had been killing the bacon? I put two pop tarts in the toaster. Check diaper bags to make sure they are stocked with diapers, any possible meds and first aids needs, wipes, clothing changes, burp rags, toys, blankets, and hand sanitizer.

9:00am - Take Pop Tart to Husband and rip covers off of bed. "You have to eat in the shower, You have twenty minutes."

9:05am- Clean up girls. Leave unclean high chair covers and kitchen for after church. I'm now out of time, have no make up on, only two people of five dressed, and have 25 minutes to do it in. The baby begins to cry.

9:10am-Bottle warmed for baby and propped. This reeks of being a bad mother, but my twins cannot go to church naked, so he will have to wait. One twin dressed. Two Twins dressed and back in their room watching Elmo.

9:15am- Feeding baby. Husband walks out of bedroom munching pop tart, not showered and in undies only. Really getting frustrated. Baby spits up all over me, and I want to cry.

9:20 am-Change baby.

9:22am - Race to bedroom, where I change clothing and grab makeup bag. This has now been a chore moved to the car ride.

9:30am- Have loaded all bags, purses, coolers, infant and infant car seat into car. Twins are both in car, and I have pulled car around to front of the apartment complex. Husband comes out holding work uniform "I got a call and I can't go to church today. I have to go to work. Can you unload them by yourself?"

9:35am - Unloading car, forcing back tears of frustration.

9:45am- Kids in house playing, car is unloaded and moved back to previous parking spot far far away. Nobody has left in 15 minutes. This makes me sadder.

9:50am- Start removing all of church clothing including mine, unpacking coolers, and redressing everyone into day clothing.

10:05am- Proceed to clean kitchen. Kitchen needs sweeping, mopping, dishes washed, counters wiped, stove cleaned.

10:30am- I find the eggs. Am disappointed and sad.

My husband has just called and asked if I would like to take the kids to the park when he gets home from work. My response?

"Of course, just let me know what time we need to leave."