The Change in Peer Relationship During Adolescence

When one is confronted with a situation that is different from what he is accustomed to, it is common for him to experience shock. The same applies to children when they advance from their youth to a new stage of life; adolescence. The changes that accompany this shift in life stages are very different and cause an array of emotions. It is often difficult for these children since the changes are often stressful.

Many of the differences involve the changes in relationships among peers. While in childhood friendship is based on convenience, either those who live close by or have the needed toys, in adolescence it is based more on commonality. This shift can cause adolescents to exclude their former friends. Because relationships begin to be based on emotional connectivity, it is common for adolescents to feel betrayed when their peers reject them. And there is the added component of disillusionment; adolescents realize that certain previously believed ideas don't hold true.

The concept of "fads" plays an important role in adolescents. During childhood, fads are common and children automatically desire the object that are popular, but if they are unable to acquire the item, children still find support from their families and can be comforted through them. However, during adolescence, there is a strong drive to separate from anything childhood-related, including the dependence on one's family. In this vein, adolescents who do not have the "fad" item can no longer find solace in their families. The feeling of being left out is much stronger during adolescence and has a greater impact on the youth. Cliques and clubs are also venues where children attempt to bond together and exclude others. This can cause great pain to those who are left out but this is a very typical phenomenon in adolescence.

In adolescence there are strategic interactions. People act a certain way to achieve a specific goal. There are clues and techniques that are used in order to send signals. People have a "poker face," so that the other players will receive a sign about the status of the individual's cards. When a teenager is on the phone and someone tries to call, the caller will get a busy signal. This is another kind of sign, whereby the adolescent is telling others that he or she is popular and is busy. Sometimes, strategic manipulation is used to be dishonest. A person may bring a number of items to the cashier to pay for them, while hiding another item they choose to steal. They are pretending to be honest in order to carry out dishonest behavior simultaneously. During this kind of interaction, one person pretends to be moral, while acting dishonestly, and the other parties involved assume that the dishonest person is actually being honest. Very often, adolescents are involved in such behavior. When they are the victims of this strategic behavior, they often learn valuable lessons but can get very hurt in the process. It is not uncommon for adolescents to use their positions in relationships to gain something they want and then leave the other person in the dust, once they achieve what they want. Once this happens, they learn to be cautious and less trusting of others but the lessons that they learn can help them throughout the rest of their lives.