The Child-Support System: How Much is Your Child Worth?

Custodial parents are blessed with the presence of a child, and although there are painful expenses tied to this gift, it should never be considered a burden. At the same time, you did not create that child yourself. Ideally, the absent parent should do their part. Sadly, there are parents out there (and not always the father) who do dodge the responsibility of a child. Their actions have a strong impact on "good" fathers, who fall victim to the bias perspective of the deadbeat dad stereotype upheld by family laws in various states.

While it is sad that any parent would not want to be a part of their child's life, it is even sadder that the child support system pushes the mindset that money is more important to a child than presence. Some fathers can sleep at night, thinking they are doing their part, because they are paying their support obligations. This does not matter to the child if that father is not a presence in their life.

Would you believe that some custodial parents actually have the nerve to deny visitation when support isn't paid?

Now I'm not saying that those financial obligations aren't important. There are definitely some child related expenses that can be very difficult to carry the weight of alone. But let's dig a little deeper into how a child support obligation is set.

Both the custodial and noncustodial parents obligations are factored into the equation. The end result is usually the same: 17-20% of the noncustodial income will be paid to the custodial parent. Bear in mind, this is income that the custodial parent does not need to report, and this is an expense that a noncustodial parent is unable to report for taxes or any other statements (ex., applying for welfare when you are placed below the poverty line after paying such obligations.)

The problem with this arrangement is simple. It is not the expenses of the child that are used to determine how much money should be paid to the custodial parent. It is income. This means that one child is "worth" $200 a month, one is worth $2000 a month, and another is worth only $20 a month. The numbers just don't add up!

Noncustodial parents are highly discriminated against in the child support system. Imagine having a bill of $600 a month, and if you fell behind you could lose your license, or even go to jail! The rights of a noncustodial parent are a downright joke. If you lose your job, you have the right to file a petition to modify your support obligation. Once filed, you could be waiting up to 6 months for a court date (during which you will most likely be told 'too bad') and you are expected to continue making your payments every week.

Did you know that incarceration (being arrested and going to jail or prison for a certain amount of time) is considered involuntary unemployment, and your obligations do not change?!

One other thought to add here is that the noncustodial parent should be obligated to a certain percentage of the child expenses, but when their income is enough the custodial parent can actually pay their rent, electric, and other bills. Some of you may hate me for saying this, but those are not things that a noncustodial parent should be obligated to.

Yes, a child needs a roof over their head, but nobody should have to pay their own rent as well as half of somebody else's rent. Anybody who growls at me for saying this... think about it. If you didn't hold custody of your child, would the difference in your bills be so much that you could actually afford to pay the remaining bills without a problem? No! Everybody struggles financially, that's part of life.

But using the child support system to your advantage is a trait that makes me physically ill to think about. It is just as bad as somebody who puts all their motivation and energy into manipulating the 'system' for free money on hardworking citizens tax dollars. It's the same scenario. Support yourself! Your child does not cost you $200 a week, so even if you are eligible to receive that much why would you? That's not your money.

Child support money should be applied to child expenses. No child should be denied the presence of a parent based on money. When it all comes down to it, presence is more important. Noncustodial parents who try, but continuously fail, to keep up with the high standards of child support should not be punished.