The Christmas Outsiders: A Struggle of Three Generations to Find the True Meaning of Christmas

I have two opposite memories of Christmas at home. In the first one, at age 8, I was dressed up as Santa grabbing presents from under the tree and handing them to cousins, aunts, uncles and a long list of extended relatives. In the second memory, at age 16, my parents were going to bed early on Christmas Eve and I was heading out the door to find a party to celebrate with my friends. By then, my family was not celebrating Christmas anymore.

Ironically, the tradition of not celebrating Christmas was instated soon after my mother, my sister and I became evangelical Christians.

The newly-found faith launched my mother into a search for the truth that put her at odds with the origin of Christmas traditions. Among other things, she found that Christ was not born during the winter (the shepherds were out in the field with their flocks) but probably in the fall and that both the Christmas tree and the exchange of gifts originated from ancient pagan traditions.

After reading in the Old Testament about God's anger against Israel for setting idols "under every spreading tree," she banned Christmas trees from our home. "We will not follow pagan traditions, no matter what anybody says about this really being Christian," she said. "God does not like religious mixtures."

The following December my mom let me set up a Nativity scene (which was more popular in our Hispanic culture anyway) in place of the forbidden tree. That arrangement worked fine for a couple of years until I felt I was "too old" to be playing with figurines. With my sister married and away from home and I preferring to spend the holiday with my other teenage friends, my mother was more than happy to let Christmas become a non-event-and my dad knew better than to go against my mom's spiritual convictions.

Looking back it is not hard to see why my mother became a Christmas outsider. Unlike in the United States where the Christmas is a season for singing carols, decorating houses and spending time with family (ok, and shopping too), in our country, Colombia, Christmas is just an excuse to party hard. All the heavy drinking and sexual immorality of the "Christmas parties" around the neighborhood certainly crushed whatsoever affinity my mother had for the holiday. She could not compute that behavior with the character of her beloved Jesus.

For many years I have been too, like my mother, a Christmas outsider. Usually more excited about Easter, I only celebrated Christmas if a friend invited me over for dinner. However, now that I have a family of my own and am living in the United States I find it almost impossible to raise christmasless children.

A short walk around the block in late November is enough to make my oldest son ask, "Daddy, how come we never have a Christmas tree?" Even though I have tried the pagan speech on him, he still thinks Christmas trees are pretty cool (especially with lots of gifts under them).

And I don't blame him; I used to love Christmas trees at his age. Although I would like him to grow up to be like me, I would dread watching him leave with his friends on Christmas eve because his parents are too boring and do not celebrate Christmas-just as I did as a teenager.

My view of the Christmas tree has changed since those teenage years: The tree has become a secular American tradition with little or no religious significance. Perhaps for that simple reason I should not make such a big ideal about it.

For the sake of our children, my wife and I have reconsidered celebrating Christmas in a more traditional way, but emphasizing the real reason for the season: Jesus Christ. Since we never made our first son believe Santa Claus was an old man delivering presents from the North Pole, it has been easier to focus his eyes on Jesus. Our other son is still too young to understand what is going on.

This Christmas we are hanging decorations around the house in preparation of Jesus' birthday and each day we are reading a passage of his life in the Gospels. We are also buying gifts for the kids and planning a nice family dinner in honor of the Lord.

I am still not ready to put up a Christmas tree. And even if I was, I am not sure I could explain it to my mother! What I am sure about though is that I don't want my kids to be Christmas outsiders. On the contrary, I wish them to have very good memories of Christmas at home.