The Cleveland Browns - Stupid is as Stupid Does

Team owner Randy Lerner held a meeting with two disgruntled ticket-holders, one of whom wore a plastic dog bone on his head to the meeting. Apparently, according to Tom Wither of the AP, Lerner solicited their suggestions for what he should do about the current state of the team.

There is no truth to the rumor that Lerner asked about how to get one of those cool hats...

Maybe it's just me, but asking a couple of regular guys wearing plastic dog bones on their heads about how to operate a multi-million dollar NFL franchise smacks of weapons-grade stupid.

However, since Randy Lerner is willing to solicit opinion from anyone who can stand up, see lightning, hear thunder, and still pay folding cash to see the Browns play football (that last qualification should be enough for someone to be found non compos mentis in a court of law, but I digress...), please allow me to offer a humble suggestion of my own, seeing as I have as many qualifications to run an NFL football team as does one of the fans Lerner met with, a man called "Dawg Pound Mike":

Hire Bill Parcells. Today. Now.

I'm pretty sure I can find the phone number; the internet is a wonderful thing.

You think I'm kidding?

These ain't the jokes; the jokes happened about 24 hours after Lerner fired George Kokinis for, what, being in the building? As has been pointed out elsewhere, the Browns are on their fourth head coach in ten years, and their third GM in less than a year. Having a meeting with anyone that isn't a genuine NFL player/personnel guy is funnier than anything I can come up with.

Here's the plan: give Parcells three times what his Miami buyout is worth. (Yes, he's worth it, and yes, this team is that bad). Give Parcells the keys to the franchise; let him do whatever he wants with everything. Carte blanche. Finally, instruct security to shoot the owner with a Taser if he attempts to do anything more than sign checks as long as Parcells is upright.

Okay, maybe even Parcells is too smart to take on this mess. But the point bears repeating: as long as Lerner refuses to talk to genuine football men about what ails his football franchise, the Browns will continue suck worse than a black hole (unless, of course, we are referring to the singularity occuring in Oakland these days...egad).

As much as my heart goes out to ol' Dawg Pound Mike, the problem is that Mike only wants this team to win; he hasn't the faintest clue about how that should happen.

Sadly, neither does the owner.