The Clutter-Bug in Me

Lately I've had the chance to watch several different television shows having to do with cleaning or decluttering. Such shows have always been fascinating to me. And having thought about it, I know why. Though the shows feature people who live in a level of filth and messiness that is extreme, I've found that I often identify with the feelings expressed by them.

"I guess I have just gotten comfortable with the mess."
"This isn't clutter! These are my treasures! These are my memories!"
"I'm saving this in case I need it in the future. You never know when you might need something like this."
"At the end of the day I'm just too tired to do any cleaning up."
"It seems like too much effort to put things away (or in the trash), so I just let them stay where I put them down."
"It just became overwhelming, almost overnight."

When I watch these kinds of shows I start to wonder how a person can live with animal feces all over the floor and furniture, bug infestations, months worth of dirty dishes, used tissues strewn everywhere. But then I remember those items I set down this morning, intending to put them away, but never getting around to it. I remember the drips and gunk at the bottom of the fridge, dried up old mushrooms that fell out of the box, and fruits and vegetables on the verge in the crisper drawer. I think about the game we play in our family-everybody stuffing more and more garbage into the kitchen trashcan, hoping not to be the one who's forced to empty it and put in a new bag. I think about all the stuff we've moved from house to house that lands in the basement of each new place, rarely if ever used, held on to because it might be needed one day, or it's just too hard to let it go. I think about the ridiculous fact that I have more of an emotional attachment to my children's toys than they do, making clearing out an overflowing toy box a trying endeavor for me, but not for them.

I seem to have these same inner voices-"I don't feel like it, I don't want to, I can't give it up"-but for whatever reason I am able to override those voices enough to keep from sinking into the morass of chronic clutter or dirt. Maybe there are compulsions competing with the apathy, and compulsiveness wins out for some of us. To me, seeing the distress others have found themselves in (and their eventual hard-won victory over clutter and grime!) is an inspiration to keep my head above water. To quash the voice of the clutter-bug inside me. I find myself scrubbing and decluttering afterwards, needing to push the lazy, stuff-loving part of me into the background.

I am fascinated by the people on these shows because in a way, they are me.