The Common Q-Tip: Friend or Foe?

Once again, I am finding myself in a predicament. The girlfriend has swimmer's ear and I usually take her to a medical facility known as Medi-Quik to get her ears flushed and prescribed proper medication. The wait at Medi-Quik, ironically enough, usually takes approximately two hours. During that time, I pray to every listening God available that I do not get sick with whatever the guy next to me has, that the baby two chairs down will please stop screaming, and the old lady who is coughing up a lung would be so kind as to cover her mouth. I keep thinking to myself, "If only the girlfriend would use Q-Tips, none of this would be taking place."

Oh, how very wrong I am. Things might actually be worse.

This article is not meant to disparage the good folks working at Johnson and Johnson. I use the term "Q-Tip" to represent any item that contains a double-sided cotton swab and can fit deftly between the thumb and forefinger. In fact, I am probably a hypocrite just by discussing this, since I always use Q-Tips for all parts of my ears, including the inner area.

Most doctors will tell you that the Q-Tip is never to be used deep in your ears, because it presents its own danger: permanent damage to your eardrum. Unless you are in to that sort of thing, it is safer to allow wax to build-up in those ear passages. People are prone to using the Q-Tip incorrectly, and can shove the cotton tip way too deep. Can you say "permanent hearing damage"?

Therefore, what purpose does the Q-Tip serve? Or does it even serve a purpose at all? Well...yes and no. You can make a really neat Q-Tip skyscraper, which was a past wood shop project I had in the 7th grade. The original intention for this creation was to use it in the ear canal. Along the outer portion of the ear, it is very effective for getting rid of unwanted and unsightly ear wax which can be seen. However, going too deep with this cotton spear is actually pushing the wax further into the ear. Most individuals are prone to thrusting the Q-Tip as deep as it will go with reckless abandon, little knowing that the Q-Tip will not magically grab onto the offending wax. Picture a child blowing up a balloon with more and more air. It gets larger and larger, more and more filled with air and pressure until, "pop"! Much the same, the eardrum cannot possibly sustain that extreme a pressure. In a best case scenario, the build-up will cause bacterial infection in the form of swimmer's ear. Sometimes the ramifications can be far worse.

Instead, the Q-Tip can be used for other medical, if not cosmetic purposes. It is quite effective when dabbing Neopsorin ointment on a cut or wound, instead of using an abrasive towel, tissue, or, worse yet, your own hand. They can be quite handy when cleaning around an earring and applying eyeliner (not that I am in to that sort of thing).

The Q-Tip also serves practical purposes as well. I keep some around the house to clean certain items like the computer keyboard (it's absolutely amazing how much hair, dust, and other residue gets between the keys...just take a look!) and even unclogging the sink and bathtub drain. Just a word of caution with this last use: Be sure not to accidentally drop the Q-Tip; it may cause a bigger drainage issue than before.

Alas, the Q-Tip can definitely be an ally for you, depending on its use. But as advertised, you need not make your swimmer's a potential hospital visit.