The Complete Guide to Communicating Effectively with Your Doctor During Labor

Every pregnant woman has her own idea of what labor and delivery should be like. Often, women are upset or disappointed after the birth of their baby because things went differently than they had planned. My two children were born in two very different ways - one birth was completely natural, the other was a failed induction which ended in an emergency c-section. Although every birth is different, there are steps you can take to ensure that your wishes are respected and your specific preferences are met whenever possible. The key to all of this? Open, ongoing and effective communication with your doctor or midwife during labor.

Choose An Ambassador

When laboring, you're in a world of your own. Between contractions and mentally preparing for the work at hand, you may not be in a position to communicate your wishes and decisions. So choose an ambassador - a husband, boyfriend, mother, sister or friend - who will stand strong when it comes to what you want during labor and childbirth. When my daughter's health was in danger while I was in labor and I was sobbing uncontrollably, my husband was the one to quietly step out of the hospital room and take care of business. Make sure your ambassador knows exactly how you feel and what your preferences are, even if they change during labor. It's also a good idea to have them come to one or more of your prenatal appointments, so they are familiar with what's going on and your doctor is familiar with them.

Find The Right Doctor

When it comes to healthcare, you expect the best, and your obstetrician or midwife is no exception. You will probably have (or have had) your first "official" prenatal appointment around 12 weeks from the date of your last period. If you don't have a physician or midwife you're comfortable with, this is plenty of time to research your options and get referrals from other moms. Listen to your gut when meeting with an obstetrician or midwife for the first time. Is your initial impression one of competence and caring ? Be sure to ask your obstetrician or midwife about their stance on important labor and delivery issues, such as episiotomies, epidurals, natural birth and more. If you don't feel comfortable with a particular obstetrician or midwife, find someone else. Giving birth is one of the most important events in a woman's life, and you'll want a professional you can trust by your side.

Write Down Your Questions & Concerns

During pregnancy, most women think of little else (and who can blame them!). Unfortunately, due to hormonal shifts, you're also more likely to forget things. If you have a question or concern, regardless of how small, keep it in a journal and take it with you to your next appointment. If it's an important question, don't be afraid to call. I did this with both of my pregnancies. Sometimes, I realized that my questions really were silly, but the journal helped to calm my mind and make sure my concerns were addressed.

Create A Birth Plan & Review It With Your Doctor

A birth plan doesn't necessarily mean your birth will go according to your "ideal", but it's a good place to start. Do you want to attempt a natural birth, or get an epidural as soon as humanly possible? Who do you want in the room while you're in labor? Is it important to you to be able to eat and drink normally while you're laboring? These are important issues not only because they affect you, but because your doctor has to be on the same page for them to happen. A midwife may not be willing to assist a labor where an epidural is planned from the beginning, and some hospitals will only allow a certain number of people in the room during labor. Also, some hospitals still have a policy that laboring women can have nothing but hard candy and ice chips! Making sure your doctor is on your side regarding these issues clears the road for better communication during labor.

Relax & Keep An Open Mind

If you've followed all of the steps above, then you should have faith that your doctor or midwife has your best interests at heart. Sometimes, labor follows its own plan. I was terrified of a cesarean section - but when my baby was in danger, my husband and I demanded one and refused to back down (Weird, huh? You usually have to fight to have a natural birth!). If something isn't going according to plan, listen to your doctor and what he or she has to say. If they suggest a procedure, and it isn't an emergency, discuss it with your ambassador before making a decision. The point is - listen to the doctor or midwife you have placed your faith in. A successful birth is one that ends with a healthy baby, regardless of how he or she gets here!