The Cranberries Reviewed on Wayne's World?

Cut to Wayne Campbell's garage. Camera zooms in for a close up of Wayne's World. Wayne and Garth are sitting on a couch playing severely out-of-tune guitars. )

Wayne and Garth: (Singing off key.) WAYNE'S WORLD...WAYNE'S WORLD...PARTY TIME...EXCELLENT...drdrdrdrdrdrdrdrdrdrdrdr.....

Wayne: Party on, Garth.

Garth: Party on, Wayne.

Wayne: Hi, I'm Wayne Campbell, and I live in Aurora Illinois with my best friend, Garth. And...uh...I wanna welcome you dudes and babes in AC land to my garage. Today we have a special guest-

Garth: No way!

Wayne: Way! The dude is an AC reviewer, and his name is William Pinn-

Garth: Whoa! He's the most totally awesome reviewer in the universe!

Wayne: Yeah...right...and monkeys fly out my butt!

He's gonna review the Everybody Else Is Doing It, Why Can't We? CD by The Cranberries--

Garth: No way! That chick who sings lead vocals is BAYBA-LICIOUS!

Wayne: Well...DUH--licious! (Chuckles.) So without any further ado, here's William. Party on, Will!

Garth: Party on, Will!

WP: Thanks guys. It's a pleasure to be here. I feel like I finally made it to the big time. Imagine little ol' me making an appearance in your garage. Your couch looks full; I'll just sit on the floor.

Wayne: So dude, tell us about the Cranberries' CD.

WP: The CD has excellent band photos, artwork and graphics-

Wayne and Garth: EXCELLENT!

WP: The CD does not have any song lyric sheets-

Wayne and Garth: Excellent-NOT!

Wayne: So William-dude, tell us about the tracks.

WP: Sure. The first track is I Still Do. This song is a slow, dreamy ballad with soprano lead vocals and harmony. The band instruments consist of electric guitars, bass and drums. The guitar tonality has a clean, crisp sound verses a fuzzy hard rock sound. I think it's a cool song so I gave it four stars.

Wayne: Right on...I also give it four stars.

Garth: Where'd you guys get the stars? I reach up and I can't get any.

Wayne: Garth...duh...where not talking about the stars in the sky, dude.

Garth: Oh.

WP: The next track Dreams has the same instrumentation and vocals, but it has a kick-down-your-back-door beat! I think it is the most awesome song on this CD, so I gave it five stars.

Wayne and Garth: EXCELLENT!

WP: The next track Sunday kind of reminds me of Sunday. It starts as a soft ethereal ballad with strings and soprano vocals-but then it suddenly switches on to an up-tempo soft rock danceable number. I liked the counterpoint between the fiddle and lead guitar. I gave this one four stars.

Wayne: I rate it excellent minus one-or heinous plus three (chuckles).

Garth: I rate it...uh..minus..uh..plus...uh...plus...minus...whatever...

WP: The next three tracks Pretty, Waltzing Back, Not Sorry are slow ballads with some interesting EQ effects, although I don't think the songs themselves are that strong-

Wayne and Garth: THEY SUCK!

WP: Well...I guess that is one way to put it. I rated each of those songs two stars. But Linger is another story: Violins and crisp clean guitars with an enchantress siren singing up front and center. Siren harmonies wrapping around the enchanting melody. The syncopated rhythm section mixes up the salt in the salt shaker nicely. I just wish I could rate it more than a measly four stars. But I can-so it gets five stars.

Wayne and Garth: EXCELLENT!

WP: The next track Wanted has a catchy infectious rhythm, great sound-on-sound soprano harmonies playing tag with the soprano lead vocals. I gave it four stars.

Garth: I sure wish I knew where you get all those stars, dude.

Wayne: He pulls 'em out of his butt, Garth!

Garth: Oh.

WP: The next three tunes Still Can't, I Will Always, How--

Wayne and Garth: THEY SUCK!

WP: Well...they aren't that bad. I rated them each three stars because the tracks did sound clean and professional-but the songs are somewhat weak. They are typical cover songs. Put Me Down, the final track, is another ethereal ballad. The group added a squeeze box in the background which gives its sound a nice change of pace. The lead vocal is very soft and sexy, complemented by a high siren backup vocal. I give this tune four stars. Overall, I give this CD three stars.

Wayne: So Will-dude, what's your final answer?

Garth: Hehehe! Wayne, you sound like Regis--

WP: I think the CD is worth owning. There are some good songs on it, and a couple of great ones.

Wayne: Well, party on, Will-dude. Thanks for stopping by.

WP: You're welcome. I'd say it's been a pleasure, but my tail bone hurts from sitting on this concrete floor.

Wayne: Sorry about that, dude--

Garth: Wayne?--

. WP: Not a problem. Have a good one-

Garth: Wayne?--

Wayne: What, Garth?

Garth: I did what you said he does, and I still can't get any stars...

THE CRANBERRIES

Delores O'Reardan-lead vocals, songwriter

Noel Hogan-guitar, songwriter

Mike Hogan-bass

Fergal Lawler-drums

THE CD

I Still Do
Dreams
Sunday
Pretty
Waltzing Back
Not Sorry
Linger
Wanted
Still Can't
I Will Always
How
Put Me Down

Note: Special thanks to Saturday Night Live for the creation of Wayne's World.