The Cycle of Life

If you've read previous articles, then you know I'm performing my own personal boycott against the oil companies. What started as an aversion to driving became a compulsion.

There are so many wonderful lessons that I've learned while taking my bike rides that I'd like to share.

1. When you know what you're doing, life is easier.

When growing up, I had a bike with no gears and one speed. You back-pedaled to stop it. (Which may be why I'm so good at back-pedaling today.) I ride a fender-less mountain bike with multi-speeds and handbrakes. It took me a while but now I use as many as seven of the gears I have available.

2. Riding a bicycle does not stop road rage. You simply have too much of a death grip on the handlebars to flip the other guy off.

3.You can have oil leaks on a bicycle. This one takes a little explaining.

We have recently entered into our St. Francis of Assisi phase. Wild animals hunt us down and move into our space. We had three huge ground hogs trapped in a humane trap and taken out to the country, I won't say where lest the farmers hunt me down and bring them back. We also caught a mother raccoon that had brought her babies into the garage. She was sweet and docile, but we had to release her because the babies were too young to survive alone and we couldn't find them.

That night in an effort to move her "yung'uns" she tipped my by bike into a tub of oil and it soaked the handlebars. Mike never told me, he just wiped them off and quickly moved the pan. I rode to my weekly destination, my bus ride to the casino and met with the friends that I've made. They were treating me so nice that day. One finally asked where I fell. I responded that I hadn't. They looked closer and then said, "There's dirt all over your face." Sure enough , the handlebars were leaking oil.

4. You can have gas leaks when you ride a bike. No explanation necessary.

5. The windows are always open on a bike.

6. You lose your identity when you ride a bicycle. I'm known no longer by my given name, but as the bike lady. I presume this is similar to "The crazy lady in the mink coat" woman that lived in my small town when I was growing up..

7. When you hit a bunch of "sh*t" it gets all over. Do not run over a soiled diaper along side the road if you have no fenders. While I'm on this lesson, if your baby's soiled diaper is so horribly smelly, what makes you think the rest of us want to share the experience? Don't throw full diapers along the road.

8. Riding a bike is like life. When there's a storm in the sky and you have to pedal through the water all around you, always Cover Your A**.

9. When it's windy out, even glasses don't prevent your hair from covering your eyes.

10. Life is like riding a bike on a windy day. When the wind's to your back you go like hell but you can't always see where you're headed. If you ride into the wind, it's harder going but at least you have some direction.

11. If you worry about hitting a wall or railing, it's a guarantee, you're going to hit it.

12. There is no person alive that was built for the seat of a bike.

13. If a branch looks too low too clear, it probably is.

14. Getting caught in the rain isn't the worse thing that can happen.

15. When riding in traffic, does the healthy exercise cancel out the carbon monoxide you're inhaling?

And finally:

16. No matter how much you plan, rain happens, plans get disrupted and sometimes cah-cah occurs. Life is a crap shoot, sometimes you lose, and sometimes you win, but never stop playing the game, just keep on pedaling.