The Dangers of Cyber-stalking

I have a wonderful family. My children and husband are my life. My husband and I have exchanged spiritual vows stronger than any legal document I have encountered. Our children are well adjusted and generally happy people.

Somebody tried to change this. Someone tried to ruin my career, my spirit, and my relationship. They did not succeed at any of these things; in fact, they made my relationship with my husband stronger and my life richer.

But, she tried. My husband's ex wife stalked and harassed me online for months. She was unrelenting. She visited this site often, leaving inappropriate comments for me that I erased. She visited other web pages that I write on or have videos on and left inappropriate comments there as well. I would block her and have the administrators block her as well. But she would create another identity and resume her sybill-esque activities none-the-less.

I am not sure what she was trying to accomplish with these actions. Though she finally confessed after months of denial, she has yet to provide an explanation. But why does anyone stalk or harass another? Is it obsession, jealousy, or maybe they have lost touch with reality altogether.

Receiving one e-mail after another with her threats and harassing comments did little more than annoy me. However, as soon as she decided to sabotage my writing career, I took immediate action. The authorities let me know that since this is crossing state lines, and there is a special unit for these crimes, an FBI investigation would be necessary. Since my husband has 2 teenage children with this woman, they let me know that they would all be investigated, as they all live there and use the computer. I did not want to see the children have this type of investigation, so I held off. We had the IP address and knew where every communication was coming from and my husband asked his ex-wife to stop. She denied her involvement again and he told her about the possibility of an FBI investigation and what that could do to their children's futures.

Here is where it got scary. With the knowledge that her actions could damage the future of her children, she did not stop. Her obsession with stalking and harassing me was so strong she did not stop. We spoke to the authorities again and they suggested that my husband question the children. And he did. Once the children were involved and they knew what had taken place, their mother confessed. She was not at all sorry, still calls me vulgar names, and refuses to explain her actions.

It is my belief, as well as the belief of the authorities that a person with that level of obsession is mentally ill.

So, for the time being, the harassment has stopped.

If you are being harassed online, remember that it is not your fault. You did nothing to deserve this. Also remember that you are not dealing with a person that can grasp the concept of consequences for their behavior. When they are engrossed in their obsession it is very difficult to navigate their way out. Call the local authorities and do what you feel you must do for your own protection and safety.

Remember that when someone stalks you it is not your fault and the person stalking you is clearly not well. Though this does not always provide comfort, it does help make the decision to follow the best course of action as determined by the authorities.

Though I never pressed charges as there was a confession and the harassment stopped, not every victim is this lucky. Do not take any chances! Especially if you are a child, tell someone what is happening and protect you. You deserve the best!