The Dangers of an Open Marriage
An open marriage is a marriage in which both partners are allowed to have extra-marital relations. This could mean going to a club to pick up sexual partners or simply the freedom to experiment at will. Some couples choose open marrage because one happens to be bi-sexual, while others have no limitations.
To be honest, I'm completely close-minded when it comes to the concept of open marriages. I can't imagine sharing my wife with anyone - male or female - and the prospect makes me nauseous. But some married couples actually enjoy open marriages, and our friends insisted that they were closer for it.
The dangers of an open marriage are plenty, and here are a few of the most common possibilities:
1. Jealousy
Married couples who exist in an open marriage open the door for extreme cases of jealousy. If, for example, a wife comments on her sexual experience with another man, the husband might feel as though his sexual prowess has been called into question.
Some married couples who practice open marriages, however, insist that they get off on jealousy. Knowing that their husband or wife has had other partners heightens their sense of sexual intimacy together.
2. Legality
There are states in which adultery is illegal, regardless of whether or not it was consensual. This can mean that one or both partners will be charged with adultery if their extramarital affairs are discovered. Couples who engage in an open marriage should be sure that they aren't breaking any laws.
3. Social Acceptance
Regardless of the incidence of open marriages (experts say about 2% of all marriages), there is still a social stigma that applies. Open marriages may not be acceptable to family members, friends, and even co-workers, if they know. Many couples who engage in open marriages prefer to keep it to themselves for that very reason.
4. Children
I can't imagine a married couple in an open marriage if they have children, but it does happen. It is almost impossible to keep everything from your children, and if (when) they find out, anger and resentment may ensue. Depending on the ages of the children, open marriages can have permanent psychological damage.
5. Violence
Many married couples who have open marriages enjoy picking up strange women/men at clubs and bars for a one night stand of sexual intimacy. The dangers here are the same as with any casual sex experience; if you don't know the person with whom you are having sex, the danger of violence is very real. And if one of the members of the relationship is hurt, the other might suffer from feelings of guilt or anger.
Published by Steve Thompson
Steve is a full-time freelance writer. In addition to the more than 3,000 articles he's written for AC, he has also written articles and other materials for more than 100 happy clients. He enjoys writing abo... View profile
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23 Comments
Post a CommentI have shared both my fist wife and now my present wife. The sexual adventure did not come to play with my first divorce but did give me one of the most beautiful memories of our 8 year marriage. Sharing her with another man did bring her out of her shyness and led to a much happier sex life back then. If nothing else can be said for our marriage, this is one of my great joys in the relationship.
I'm curious about this as man who has been married for 14 years last 5 no sex with wife separate bedrooms daughter is out of house all grown up! My wife and I have talked about it and we are curious!
Call it "Open Marriage" or try to justify it on the basis of "it's what makes you happy" or "it doesn't hurt anyone else", or whatever you want to say to try to justify it in your own mind, but God calls it "adultery" pure and simple, and eternity is a long time to be burning in hell. Give it some thought.
Let's not forget the disease factor. I can't even imagine the guilt that I would feel if my wife were to test HIV positive as a result of engaging in an open marriage, especially if it was my idea. I would die of grief and personal guilt long before the disease killed me. It's just not worth it.
So Rob, you can't satisfy your own wife? You share this "emotional" connection when she says how great the sex was? Sound perverted to me.
O wait, I can't judge . . .
Awww, poor LL. Get over it. What he posts is true.
This article is written by someone who has absolutely no experience of open marriage, and who admittedly says that he has extreme judgment on the topic.
I've been in an open marriage for over two years... previously monogamous in all my other partnerships. I've never been happier- feeling free to talk with whomever I want... knowing that there is no sense of ownership between me and my husband.
There is no one way of being in a relationship that is right for everyone. I have no judgment of people who are in monogamous or polyamorous relationships, so long as they're genuinely happy... so why should others have judgment of my open relationship?
I'd love to see an article written about the "dangers" of monogamous relationships- cheating, resentment, lack of freedom, boredom... the list goes on.
hi kris, u said your 4th mistress?! my husbandis wanting to have someone on the side, he says he needs excitement, and he cheated on me with 2 other women and now we are trying to work things out. so he feels like he can be honest with me about having an open relationship. i feel like he will never be satisfied, and am curious about how your 1st mistress started and why he has had more? thank u
I am going through the exact same thing....We just had a baby and two old er children. The other women was thought to be a friend of mine! I am a stay at home mom with no education there is no way I can make it on my own so what choice do I have but to stay here and take it! This is the 4th mistress!
I have known people who tried open marriage and they ended up divorced shortly after. They didnt love eachother enough in the first place. It is characteristic of insecure people who dont feel worthy enough to demand commitment or who are not satisfied, but they do not have the courage to divorce.