The Dating Dilemma: 1 Thing You Should Not Do!

Do you marvel at couples? I do. It's like witnessing a little miracle
whenever I see a man and a woman meet and decide to forge a relationship.
For the both of them to even be on the same page, in itself, is a wonder!

How many times have you listened to a friend tell you of meeting this
wonderful man. She felt an instant attraction. He didn't. Or a man meets
a woman and is positive they would make a good match. He wholeheartedly
begins pursuing the object of his affection. The woman is shocked. She
feels nothing romantic at all.

Sadly, it happens more times to more good people than it should. Most of us
have already been there. That's why I delight in seeing couples gaze upon
each others' faces with joy. Mercy! How did they get that far?

As much as we'd like to think relationships should be easy, we know they
are not. A man and woman meet. They decide to begin dating to see if it's
possible to forge a love relationship. In this process, any number of
obstacles can squash their giddiness.

If you are female, single and looking for a relationship, pay attention.
It doesn't matter if you are a teenager or in any other decade of your
life. If you are dating and want to find love, this matters.

There's one behavior that can make or break any new relationship. Right!
It's calling, emailing or text-messaging at the wrong time! In the wrong
stage of the relationship.

No need to debate the equality of the sexes. We're big girls. We know when
it comes to finding a partner, as females, we have to step back and think.
What appears to be normal and rational to us could backfire.

Men and women think differently. That's the good news. And, the bad news.
Guys want to pursue you. Not the other way around. I know. We hear all the
time about men saying they would be relieved if women asked them out. Yes,
they may be flattered and accept. But try calling at the wrong time and
see how appreciative he becomes.

Has it ever happened to you? You meet this guy. There's a wonderful connection.
The surge of infatuation takes hold. You've exchanged numbers. He promises
to call. Days go by. He must be busy at work, you rationalize. After all,
he has a demanding job. Maybe his cell battery is dead. Maybe...oh gosh, what
if he's sick? Poor baby.

You decide to call him. After all, you're friends. You want him to know you
care! Right? Wrong! Then you find out, too late, you've made a mistake.
His voice is strained when he finds out who is calling. Your heart sinks and
you try to recover some light-heartedness to the conversation. When he
ends the call, you want to crawl under a blanket. Why did I do that, you
ask?

Be kind to yourself. Women of all ages have called at the wrong time and
lived to learn. Yes, me too. If I choose to think about it, I still feel
the humiliation. That relationship ended, by the way.

As much as we, as grown-up, intelligent women balk at the notion of "dating
rules", we must admit it. There are rules in everything. Even when, on
the surface, they seem old-fashioned.

If you are looking to find a relationship and fall in love, then you will
have to accept that some things work to further the growing mutual attraction
and some things don't.

We can't force someone to feel as we do. When the thought enters your head
about calling or sending an email, stop and think. Boundaries are being
worked out in the beginning. Even when you've become intimate, don't take
that as a sign it's acceptable to tie up his phone. You'll chase him.
The other way.

I wish it could be different. No, it's not fair. It even hurts me to say it.
As capable as we are at work, as enlightened as we are in our personal lives,
we have to play a role, it seems, when it comes to dating. We may not like
it, but men want to initiate and be the chaser.

So, let them. You won't be watching your phone and checking your email
every hour, anyway. You'll be living your life. When a relationship
blossoms, you'll know when the phone calling will get on more equal footing.

In the meantime, I happen to know some good cavemen jokes!

(c) 2007 Karen Cook

Quiet the inner caveman by getting the answers that will save you grief at
http://callingmen.blogspot.com