The Dating Game

Let's talk about dating. First date jitters are the worst, but can be fun too. The nervous excitement makes your head spin and your stomach squirm. It's like you want to go, yet you don't. As you get older and have been married before these jitters still remain, but there is a deeper feeling, a feeling of hope that maybe you really won't have to spend the rest of your life alone.

You plot, you plan and ponder your every move. Everything from what you will wear, how to do your hair and makeup to what you will say, you have thought about and painstakingly planned out.

You want what you romanticized about! We all do it, you are not alone. The problem is usually you are so nervous and don't forget the guy is just as nervous if not more so! Save yourself some heartache now, the romantic first date you dreamed of as a girl, just isn't going to happen. There is no prince charming out there who is going to sweep you off your feet and carry you away on a white horse or in a crystal studded carriage!

Now that we have that out of the way, let's get real. A first date, depending on your age, should consist of the guy coming to pick you up, having light drinks before dinner, then proceeding to a nice chat over coffee after. BUT, if the guy is creative, he will do something other than dinner and a movie or just dinner. The best first dates to me are always the ones where you do something fun that you both enjoy, then have plenty of time to talk and get to know each other. I used to be so embarrassed to eat in front of men on my first dates, so I always suggested doing something else. I was always glad I did as the guys usually found something fun to do! It's up to him to plan the date, you can give him some general ideas, but make him use his brain a little.

Date Check

Whether you are a first time dater or an experienced dater there are a few things you need to know about dating.

1) Know who you are dating! This is vital in today's world, with the internet. There were so many times that I thought I found a nice guy to go on a date with, just to find out that they were pretty far off base mentally or ended up being married and fooling around. (about 90% of men and 20% of women on those dating sights are married so be careful. (Statistics provided by eharmony & match.com website research)

After spending a week or so talking to them online and over the phone you can learn a lot. You just need to know what to look for.

If he/she does any of the following BEWARE:

a - Only gives you his cell phone (this used to be a big clue, but these days so many people only have a cell), so if possible, try to get a home # or a work #, let them know you won't call but you just want it for your family in case of an emergency.

b - They only call you at specific hours and never after a certain time. Like if he works 9-5 and "can't" call you after that because of "any" reason.

c - He lives in a different town or state and WON'T take you out near where HE lives or won't take you to his home.

d - He won't take you out in public. Wants to cook for you, or you for him and stay home to watch a movie (at your place)

Other factors to think about.

Do you like his personality?, Can you communicate with him about anything?, What are his likes and dislikes?, What is his reputation like, both personal and professionally? Who are his friends?

Take some time to really get to know the person you are going to date, if you don't feel comfortable then follow your feelings and don't go. There are other men, good men to date!

Monday's article will be "Dating Do's and Don'ts".

Till next time,

Jennifer