The Day God Woke Up

Yesterday, Nelifar woke up and became extremely irritated when he found out that no one in the world knew who he was. It was if Nelifar had never existed, as if he had been edited out of reality. This would be an extremely unpleasant experience for just about anyone.

It's much worse for God.

Not a God, you understand. THE God. He who created the world, crafted man in his own image, gave light to heavens, shadows to the darkness, all that sort of stuff. His name was Nelifar and by his will the worlds turned and the universes danced. For he was Nelifar, creator of all things.

And no one knew who he was.

It was most irritating.

Apparently somewhere over the course of the last eight thousand years, humanity, (a species on planet Earth which Nelifar created long ago), had forgotten the name of their God. Not only that, but they had come up with a whole crop of new gods and even worse, transcendental philosophies which dictated that no God existed at all!

Obviously the Deiafora had been up to something.

Which wasn't surprising since they were the reason Nelifar had been sleeping for the last eight thousand years. They had been most upset with their creator when he destroyed human civilization, of which they were quite fond, some eight thousand years before, along with some seven billion human beings.

Well, they had deserved it.

For it was on the Great Holy Day of Shavras, the sixteenth most important Holy Day of the Lunar Year, that one of the four thousand dancing priests in the Great Pilgrimage of Joy Unto Nelifar dropped his Basha, an instrument somewhat similar to a electronic keyboard, and it made an unpleasant sound.

For which Nelifar, much angered by this show of disrespect, destroyed 99.9999% of the human population, reducing them to pieces smaller than dust. And, for good measure, destroyed every aspect of technology more complex than the spear and no trace of their civilization save a few traffic signs on Mars.

Some might say, (the Deiafora for example), that such a reaction was extreme, but it should be remembered that Nelifar was quite drunk at the time and was not responsible for his actions. Though it should be noted that if he hadn't been in a state of intoxication where responsibility was greatly impaired he would never had destroyed the source of his power so utterly.

After all, the reason Nelifar created humanity in the first place was in order to draw half the power of their lives into himself. This is why humanity has always been such a frail, passive, and rather stupid species. It's also why they only live a quarter of their actual lifespan, just seventy years or so usually. The sudden near destruction of humanity left Nelifar in a debilitated condition which allowed the Deiafora, who had been originally constructed to as a species of bureaucrats to help Nelifar run everything, to rise up against him. Well, that and the fact that Nelifar was still quite drunk at this point.

The Deiafora cut Nelifar's body into a million, million pieces and then they threw each of the pieces into a separate star. And each of these stars were so far from each other that it would take a million years for the light of one of these star to ever touch the light of any of the others. And then they spent hundreds of years obliterating all memory of Nelifar from the mind of man.

And then the Deiafora withdrew from the world, leaving humanity to its own devices. For the Deiafora greatly loved humanity and the knew the only way the humans could truly become their own beings was to be free of the influence of outside forces telling them how to be and what to do. For good or ill humanity would be free to choose its own path.

Whereupon, Humanity, being deprived of Nelifar and the memory of him, promptly made up a number of fictional beings of power to act as their new gods. For Nelifar made humanity to worship him, (for he had an ego the size of a Winebago), and the worship of a higher power was hard wired into the very essence of Humanity.

The Deiafora were disappointed, of course, but there was nothing they could do. Only Nelifar had the power of creation and uncreation, and only he could adjust the fabric of what he had created. So the Deiafora watched over Humanity over the millennia, acting occasionally in small ways to prevent bloodshed and suffering. They would advise the powerful to beneficence in their dreams, would whisper hope in the ears of the despairing, and they would guide the steps of children and fools to keep them from harm.

And eventually the Deiafora died.

They were not eternal, for nothing is save Nelifar, and they had been given no spark of creation themselves so that they might create new Deiafora to replace their dead. The last one died in the terrestrial year of 1932, weeping quiet tears inside his crystal palace on distant Titan.

And then, yesterday, Nelifar woke up, as was mentioned before. It took him awhile, (of course he's a him!), to pull himself back together, but he is the eternal, (the only eternal), and no prison devised by a mortal being, (even a Deiafora) could hold him forever.

Now he's back.

And he's very irritated.

Australia disappeared earlier today.

No one knows why.

Yet.