The Day My Marriage Ended; And the Earth Stood Still

Have you ever felt as though you knew where your life was headed? You knew where you were going to live, and with whom. Sitting there imagining you and your partner growing old together, sitting on the front porch in your matching rocking chairs, sipping tea while your grand kids played happily in the front yard. So in tune with each other that communication consisted of a simple look into the other person's eyes. One of those looks where nothing needs to said, yet volumes could be understood.

I have had days like that too. However, those days can quickly vanish. Those days are replaced with anger, frustration and uncertainty. The amazing thing is that it takes such a long time to reach the first point, and sometimes only moments to reach the latter. Just when you think you know where you are headed, things seem to go tragically wrong.

I consider myself to be a spiritual person. I do believe in a higher power, and that God has a plan for us all. However, I also have my moments of doubt and lack of understanding. I like to say that everything happens for a reason, and although I don't always understand that reason, I do my best to accept it.

But what do you do when you don't understand the reasoning behind Gods actions? Yes, sometimes it helps us to talk to friends, family, or even your pastor or priest. This helps because people on the outside looking in have an ability to help one put things into perspective. However, this doesn't always help; in fact sometimes it can make things downright worse. This is when prayer and meditation can come in handy. Sometimes it helps to hear yourself think, without any interruptions, or unwanted advice.

I have found that these conversations with Self or God can be the most helpful. There aren't always right answers, or things you can do to make things right. There are those times when all one can do is try to understand and accept the situation for what it is, a learning experience. Some times there are people or events that are thrust into our lives so that we may learn things we may not otherwise learn. Or, in turn, these things happen so that we may teach others.

When I first realized that my marriage was over, my question to God was why. Of course the only answer I received was silence. Frustrating, isn't it? So of course I went on to become angry and frustrated. What reason could God have for making me love someone, with all my heart, for seven years, if only to snatch that love away from me? Wouldn't it have been easier to have never loved that person at all?

Well, apparently not. See, I have finally come to realize, through the grace of God, that I wouldn't be the person I am today if not for that experience. The obvious here being that I wouldn't have my children, whom I love so much, if not for my wife. However, digging further, I realized that I am a much stronger person for having gone through all this drama. I also would have never gotten to know the very special woman I now spend most of my time with.

So when going through this type of situation, or any kind of loss, remember that God doesn't give you any more than you can handle, and if your going through more than you think you can handle, just think of it this way; God must think an awful lot of you as a person if he/she believes you can both handle and learn from this experience. And that's what really matters.