The Day the Viewing Died
With Apologies to "American Pie"
That deadly date, the 12th of June
That day of wreck and ruin
That's when I would take a screwin'
The day the viewin' died
Just doin' the best that I was able
Puttin' food on the family table
Couldn't afford no dish or cable
Now my TV set just ain't able
The day the viewin' died
My TV set just has rabbit ears
My kids are just about in tears
I'm livin' one of my worst fears
If only I weren't in arrears
The day the viewin' died
Because I live in the boondocks
Even with the converter box
The programming flows, stops and locks
I'd sell my soul just to tune in FOX
The day the viewin' died
No longer was there NBC or PBS
Make my life better, that's BS
Without Oprah or Dr. Phil my life's a mess
The reality shows I won't miss, I guess
The day the viewin' died
Bye bye to the CBS eye
I cannot get any stations no matter how hard I try
Sometimes I just want to lay down and die
And you know that's no lie
The day the viewin' died
NBC let Leno go.
Now I can't even see the Tonight Show
I go to bed just feelin' low
I don't miss Letterman though
The day the viewin' died
No matter how I search and scan
Move the antenna as best I can
I wish I had an extra grand
Then I could get a new TV and a cable plan
The day the viewin' died
No matter how I tune and tweek
The digital signal is always 'weak'
I get so mad I can't even speak
I'm afraid I'm about to freak
The day the viewin' died
I may never see another TV show
My little set just shows me snow
Guess I'll have to listen to radio
That's just the way things go
The day the viewin' died
I know the shows aren't really great
But now my sets just a paper weight
If only my mortgage wasn't late
But I guess this is just my fate
The day the viewing died
I gotta say it sure ain't groovy
If I want to watch a full length movie
I have to rent a tape or DVD
Just to see it on my TV
The day the viewin' died
You know what I would like to see
Those nice folks at the FCC
Would all come down with an STD
That's what you get for screwing with my TV
The day the viewin' died
Published by Dan
baby boomer, biology major, Outward Bound participant, lived in Germany, life skills teacher to blind students View profile
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2 Comments
Post a CommentI'm sure "American Pie" will, Dot.
Dan, the 'new' lyrics are very clever and suited perfectly to the original tune.
Will "American Pie" accept your apology?