The Deadly Sin of Pride: Does it Cause Divorce?

A thread was posted on another site I belong to regarding the deadly sin of pride and how it may well be the ultimate root of divorce. Some on that site were quick to take umbrage at this hypothesis. In all my years of closely observing successful and non-successful relationships, I must say I agree 100% with this theory. Like it or not, we humans are prideful creatures who seem to be quick to resort to words and actions which come from our own ego (aka pride), rather than our heart.

Before disagreeing with this, or taking offense, please consider the following:

When we are quick to anger, where is that anger coming from? Our pride or ego has been wounded or offended in some way. What does anger lead to? Contention, arguments, battles of will, and sometimes even violence. None of these things promote a healthy or loving relationship.

When we try to impose our will or ways upon another, where is that coming from? Our pride or ego tells us we have the right to do so because we are somehow superior in our thinking, experience, attitude, behavior, etc. Whether we truly are 'right' or not is not relevant if we are trying to force another to do as we wish them to do, showing total disregard for their own right to choose and have feelings and thoughts of their own.

More examples can be cited, but I think those give the general idea.

Many studies conclude that financial matters, infidelity, and communication are the leading causes of divorce. If you look closely, a pattern of pride can be found at the heart of each.

The Cure for Pride

Pride is commonly known and referred to as one of the Seven Deadly Sins. For each of the deadly sins there is a counter known as a Heavenly Virtue. To counter pride, one must embrace the virtues of humility, and then of selflessness or charity. Humility, selflessness and charity are core principles of real love.

It takes time and practice to overcome all sins and weaknesses; and overcoming pride, and therefore learning to love more freely and fully, is no different.

Can Pride and Love Coexist?

Because we are all human, and therefore flawed, I would answer 'yes' to this, with the qualifier, 'but not at the same time'. When we give in to our prideful nature we are stepping out of loving acts and into selfish ones. We are giving in to our baser nature rather than embracing our higher, truer selves.

Beware of Choosing Compromise Over Sacrifice

Some profess compromise as the key to a happy relationship. I disagree. I believe that even in compromise there is an element of selfishness present. In most cases, compromise boils down to the attitude of giving a little to or for the other person only when and if one gets ones own way to some degree as well. This approach leaves the 'me' aspect in the dealing, and is in fact, the main element of it. If one does not get their way in part, there is no 'deal'.

In real love, and in the truly healthy, successful relationships I know of, sacrifice is the order of the day. The other person's happiness, feelings, and needs are continually put first in the relationship . . .far ahead of ones own wants and pride. I believe that in healthy, successful relationships, sacrifice made willingly and joyfully is far more common than compromise.

So, What is Real Love?

In the bible, a fantastic definition of love is found in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7. Charity is pure love. No where in this description is there anything remotely resembling compromise: only sacrifice and selflessness. Virtues such as forgiveness and patience are addressed, as is treating the other with respect and kindness. In all of this, there is simply no room for pride and ego. Self is no longer important: only truly loving and giving to the other. When that type of relationship mutually exists, as much as possible for two evolving humans to display, you have a healthy and successful relationship. In that type of relationship, what could possibly cause a divorce? Nothing I can think of.