The Death of Me (GoodBye)

For almost a year my heart had been empty only falling in love with those who would have nothing to do with me. A girl who once held my heart tighter then it had ever been turned away and refused to so much as look at me let alone give me comfort or assurance and the other was too perfect to dream of holding. To beautifully corrupted and in need of a savior that would not be me. Quietly in the shadows I would watch as someone came along to lift her up and make her whole again which meant the world to me though I wished it would be me.

So I moved away to leave my past behind finding myself in another place with nothing changing. The only difference was my friends were far away and it seemed I was even more trapped with nothing to do. Never did the pain or thoughts leave me as I thought they would. Figuring moving would bring about some great change I was disappointed to find it remain thus.

As the summer passed by it seemed everywhere I turned someone was falling in love with me. Even those I didn't talk to somehow managed to think they loved me and began to obsess to the point of hurting themselves. My initial being carved from so called love and an x to remember me by. Little did they know my heart was too far beyond reach, to cold and sinful to be held by them and most of all too caring. Never would I let such an innocent creature rest with in my arms again.

It came so suddenly that things seemed to change. My dark angel came like the rest talking to me out of no where when we had never spoken before. In one night we began to feel a newly forming passion that had always taken weeks or months to grow and we talked through the night already wanting to speak our needed words of love. Little did I know that my angel was taken by another because she was too consumed by me to think of it or mention it. Only the next night did I find out though she was afraid I'd be upset and think badly of her, but I could not and still cannot for she was fulfilling a need that ached inside of me for months digging deep into my bones. She was caring about me and someone made it possible for me to care about her though my heart still clung onto the past with the names of those I loved filtering through but through the days my angel's face was painted in my mind even while the names of long ago still echoed.

One night when it became so consuming and almost painful that we longed to hold each other for we had only been talking online we spoke of poofing to each other's arms magically as though we were vampires or some creature of the night. Digging deep into our minds we tried to reach each other and hold on tightly and for a second I thought I could feel her arms around me and in fact smell her scent which I tasted in my mouth. That night we were up in tell 5 and then regrettably laid ourselves to bed though I knew I would not sleep as I hadn't since the night we met.

Lying awake I stared into the darkness begging for my goddess to come and take me away. For too long I had been in need of a savior and now I didn't care if it was real or just a dream. Right as I was giving up on my mental attempts a shadow moved through the room and a sound followed. Listening intently I begged it to be her. Intensely I listened for several minutes then slowly let go and began to close my eyes. It was at that moment that a girl with beautiful black hair and large breasts appeared with the tattoo across her chest that let me know it was her. Sitting upon the bed she took me in her arms and let her teeth sink into my neck letting my life slowly drain away.

Feeding me her own blood she then rest by my side while my life faded and changed. When I awoke I held her tight and kissed her on the lips telling her that I longed to give my heart to her but there were things that I must do; a past that I must let go and a promise that I must keep. Telling her that I would be back I kissed her on the lips and vanished from the room.

I did not know which house was that of my girl of lost hopes but I did remember which street from walking her part way off of the bus. So with my mind I found my way to that street and walked down it searching for a presence I would recognize and looking up I saw a house with a light shining in one window so I snuck to it and saw her sitting in her room alone at the computer. With my mind I appeared next to her and she turned around to face me with a look of shock on her face. "How did you get here? I thought you were sill in Minnesota and how did you get in when my parents are asleep?"

"I've come to keep a promise." I told her and she stood up to give me a hug because she had missed me and not seen me in so long. Embracing her a feeling over came me that I just never wanted to let go and maybe things could be different, but I knew they could never be more. So for the second and last time I held her in one final embrace that would touch my heart for ever. Letting my mouth drift to her neck I kissed her gently and then sunk my fangs in making sure she felt no pain that would not be sweet and pleasant to her. From her blood I saw the images of her life passing through my mind. It pained me to see all of the ways she had let herself be hurt and even hurt herself and then I saw the change in her life where she became taken care of and happy though it still seemed something was missing. I hoped that I was filling the gaping hole that still remained inside of her by fulfilling this one promise that I would never break.

As the last of her life started to drain from her I whispered in her ear "I love you emo girl and now we are vampires."

Laying her down softly on the bed I watched her for a moment and sat beside her. Leaning over I kissed her lifeless lips "Goodbye my love, I hope you will be happy now."

Looking down at her one last time I pulled the sheets over her and then said my last goodbyes for I would never see her again.

After leaving her house I found my way to my ex's house and looked through her window seeing her sleeping next to some one who had replaced me from her arms. It was tempting to be by her side and hold her close to me one last time even if I had to kill this one beside her, but she was happy so I would not. So I laid a black rose I had searched for on her door step and whispered goodbye as the blood started to drip from my eyes. "I'll never forget you my sweetest and most innocent love."

So it was that I said goodbye to the past and came back to the creature who had taken me into sin. Kissing her neck I placed my arms around her as we lay on the bed and made love to her letting our passion form taking us away from the world we had been trapped in for so long. A new life of sins and darkness lay ahead of me and it soothed my soul deeply to no longer have to hide the beast with in but to have someone to hold no matter how evil I became. She would only match my sins with her own proving to be the fallen angel I had searched for to steal my soul and bring me into the darkness to remain.