The Death of Respect

It used to be children respected adults, no matter who they were. Somewhere along the line, they stopped. Did the children become ultra-sophisticated or did the adults behave in ways which caused them to be undeserving? Probably both.

Children learn what they see. Do as I say, not as I do! Remember that? We like to say all the right things, but we want to do whatever we want. If we as adults are not respectful of people or people in authority, then why would our children behave any differently?

It's a lot more complicated than that, of course. Many factors have played in the death of respect. Did the numbers of abused children skyrocket or were they simply more reported and therefore, more visible? When the children figured out they would be believed no matter what, it left the door open for already unscrupulous children to get revenge on parents for things like bedtimes, chores and rules.

Soon it became a dangerous thing for a teacher to hug a child, or even to touch their shoulder. Discipline in public schools became obsolete as school officials adopted policies of "Don't hurt the children's feelings, they might not learn...." They learned all right. They learned how to push teachers to the edge, and then over.

Haven't you learned anything at all? Children need boundaries. They will push against those boundaries like crazy to find out who will give in. If you give in, they learn to argue and push harder. If you refuse to give in, they have found an adult they can respect. Children instinctively know they need boundaries. They'll fuss and cry and try to intimidate you into letting them have their own way.

When we adults are tired and stressed and worried, we have little sanity left to stand up against a recalcitrant child. It's so much easier to give in and do what they want so they will be quiet. But that is the beginning of the road to rebellion and disrespect.

The common theme in children/teen television shows is how stupid the adults are and how smart the children are. The common theme in comedy's in general is how stupid men are, and how much smarter the women are in life. Man-bashing is in. Can you imagine any television show saying the same things about women? Oh my. A ready made kit for disaster.

Children and adults both have abused their power. It's understandable in children; they don't know any better. They need guidance and responsible people to teach them proper behavior. In adults, it's inexcusable. If you, as an adult, abuse children in your position of authority over them in order to feel like the 'big man' or the 'woman in charge' then you're a very sad person. You shouldn't be having or working with children. Get therapy and find out what's wrong with you. Work somewhere else, and please don't have children. Pick on someone your own size and don't blame the chldren for your bad behavior. Take responsibility for your own actions and words and deeds.

Can respect be resurrected? I don't know. I think it depends on how many adults out there are willing to stand up and be adults. How many adults are willing to model respectful behavior? How many of us are willing to stand for our beliefs and not let children push us past the boundaries? How many of us are willing to grow up and be a man or a woman worthy of respect? Time will tell.