The Derelectoral Debate

Good evening ladies and gentlemen I am Tom BrokeMyJaw and we thank you for joining us for this years presidential Selectoral Debate. This debate is between Restucklican candidate John McPlain and Demobratic candidate Barack SlapYoMama.

As you know the audience is not allowed to cheer, boo or any way participate in this event. In fact, they are just dummy's inflated by air pumps that will be shut off as soon as we dim the lights so that we can conserve energy.

First allow me welcome Senator McPlain and Senator SlapYoMama. Welcome Gentlemen

McPlain: Thank you for having us.

SlapYoMama: It's a bore, I mean honor to be here.

BrokeMyJaw - Allow us to begin with the first lead question. Why should you be the next president of these United States? Senator McPlain, 2 minutes to you.

McPlain: As a member of the Restucklian party, we've had a President in the white house for the last 8 years. We feel it's better to never change anything, only to continue forward as long as we can, borrowing against nothing and paying nothing. Our financial crisis dictates that we continue the same policies that have gotten us into this mess with the blind faith that we will eventually somehow miraculously get out of it.

SlapYoMama: Uh...that's the reason...uh...we are ...uh...in this mess. As a member of the Demobratic party, we uh...feel it better to hold our breath til uh...we turn blue in the face to get what we want. We think McPlain is a meanie and can't be president. If he is we uh... will take our ball and go home.

BrokeMyJaw - Wow. Um...Ok. ...... Let me ask that lead question differently. Why should you be the next president of these United States? Senator SlapYoMama 37 minutes to you.

SlapYoMama: I should be president...uh...because I asked first. We...uh...demobrats should always get what we want. We asked first, I asked the bestest...uh...and I think I should be next.

McPlain: He cut in line! He has no experience playing president so he shouldn't be allowed. I've played at the house on the hill longer than he has...

SlapYoMama: He interrupted! I'm telling!!

BrokeMyJaw: Gentlemen please...

McPlain: Did not!

SlapYoMama: Did too!

McPlain: Whipper Snapper!

SlapYoMama: Old Timer! More of the same! More of the same!

McPlain: Wish Wash, Wish Wash!

BrokeMyJaw: This concludes our Selectoral Debate. Thank you for joining us this evening ladies and gentlemen. Senators, thank you for being here.

McPlain: He started it! Osama is only one letter from Obama. Remember that America!

SlapYoMama: Shut up! I'm telling Uncle Hussein. Oh wait I can't! You hung him!!

BrokeMyJaw: Rest assured ladies and gentlemen whichever of these candidates we elect, be it the Demobratic or Restucklian, we can depend on them to solve absolutely nothing on our behalf.

God bless and good night.

Pastor Ricky L. Doan is an only child and made up many imaginary friends. No small animals were harmed in the filming of this spoof.