The Devastating Effects of Anorexia Nervosa

Abbey is a 39 year old woman who I became acquainted with a few years ago. She has struggled with anorexia nervosa for at least half of her life. She is one of the most genuinely nicest people I have ever met and it hurts me to see her suffer.

She had a strict religious upbringing. As she grew older, she decided that the faith her family practiced did not work for her. She wanted the freedom to choose her own religion and as a result, her family disowned her. This was a damaging blow to Abbey. How could her family be so cold and hateful? Why couldn't they respect her decision to believe differently? Wasn't she more to them than something they wanted to control? Angry and sad, she moved on the best she could. Adding insult to injury, she ended up marrying a man who later confessed to being homosexual. Feeling betrayed again, they divorced.

She has been in and out of expensive clinics for eating disorders throughout the years. Being as I am not anorexic, I have a hard time understanding why someone would allow themselves to starve in such a way. When we don't live with certain disorders or illnesses it's tough to fathom the problem.

Anorexia is a serious eating disorder. We hear about the importance of a healthy diet and exercise plan. In our society though, all we see is an obsession of losing weight and being thin. Any time someone, anyone, puts on a few pounds, people are quick to put in their demeaning comments about it. This is not limited to the celebrity tabloids.

An anorexic is determined to get thinner and thinner. They have an intense fear of weight gain and body fat. They can feel and actually see themselves as being overweight even when they are not. This disorder can lead to serious emotional and physical consequences. Abbey is 39 and has been told by doctors that she has the bones of a 90-year-old woman. She has no teeth and wears dentures. Her starvation has taken its toll on her organs too.

There are two types of anorexia. Restricting anorexia is when the person eats very little. They exercise a lot and practice self-starvation in order to lose weight. Binge-eating anorexia is when the person cuts their caloric intake and will binge only to induce vomiting afterwards. They are known to misuse laxatives or diuretics. These are the people who have both anorexic and bulimic symptoms. I don't know which type Abbey has.

At mealtimes, I heard Abbey say often that she was just not hungry. She mostly ate salads and instead of eating foods with substance she would suck on hard candy instead. She wears baggy clothes to cover up her thinness. Anorexics tend to avoid social gatherings where food is involved. I invited her to a Christmas Eve gathering at my house one year. We had lots of goodies; home-made traditional Christmas candy, cheese spreads and crackers, sausage, and festively decorated cookies. Abbey asked for my permission to take some cookies and get out of the view of the other guests so that she wouldn't be seen eating them. I smiled warmly and told her to go ahead and sit on the stairs out of sight.

Emotional and behavioral effects of anorexia have affected Abbey as well. Abbey suffers from depression. She experiences feelings of guilt. One thing I noted in Abbey's behavior in the time I got to know her was that she had an emotional regression to a child-like state. It was as if she were looking for a friend that would mother her. She wanted guidance in her decisions, talked a bit babyish, and sought constant approval. Now, however, I think she's grown. She is currently in a program to help her with her disorder and she is in a rather new romantic relationship with someone who cares for her. The fact that Abbey seeks help and does her best to follow through with treatment is an outstanding accomplishment. She has even put on some weight and seems to feel rather proud of it.

If you know someone who is anorexic be compassionate. That last thing they need is to be told how sick or skinny they look. Don't try to make them eat and think that you are helping them. Don't undermine their self-destructiveness or say things to make them feel guilty. Be kind and let go of any judgment you might have about him or her. Instead, encourage them to seek help.