The Difference Between Dating and Being in a Relationship

The terms "dating" and "in a relationship" may sound like they are the same thing, but there is a world of difference between them. For some people though, the lines may be a little bit blurry and as such, makes them unsure of how to refer to the status of their relationship. Dating or being in a relationship both involve a level of closeness between two people but there are definite boundaries that are crossed when moving from one to the other.

How do you tell?

In high school, the concept of being "with" another person is usually defined by one saying to the other, "Do you want to be my girlfriend/boyfriend" or "Do you want to go out with me?". Both of these sentences come with a level of commitment - suggesting the agreement means there will be no seeing other people. When we get older though, asking such questions sounds a little bit juvenile. This means we have to find out other ways to determine the way things are.

You're dating if:

You have a casual agreement to meet up a couple of times a week

The biggest difference between dating and a relationship is the word "casual". A casual arrangement to see each other every Friday night - while a commitment - is not really serious. Either one of you could cancel at any time and it wouldn't be a big deal.

You are mostly unconcerned if your plans get cancelled

No matter what the scenario, when plans are cancelled it is always disappointing. But when a date cancels on you, how do you feel? If you are initially disappointed then you decide to find something else to do - it's just a date. However, if the feelings of disappointment last for a little longer and you are both disappointed and feel the need to arrange another meeting as soon as possible, that may be a sign of something more serious.

Your conversations are mostly small talk

When dating, small talk is the most common type of conversation, especially at the start. You don't want to burden your date with your problems and don't really expect to be burdened with theirs. If the only topic of conversation you have is about the latest episode of your favourite television shows and the weather, you're probably just dating.

The feelings you have are purely physical

Sometimes it is very easy to date someone just because they are physically attractive. Once you scratch beneath the surface though, you realise that you have nothing else in common but the mutual desire to jump each other's bones. There's nothing wrong with this, but it is unlikely to lead to wedding bells!

You're in a relationship if:

You have met each other's friends (and not just by accident!)

If you have both made a definite effort to meet each other's friends, there is a good chance you are both committed to a relationship. Meeting the people that are important to the person you are with is a good sign that they want you to stick around for more than just a quick fling.

You miss each other

When you are dating someone, it's always great to see them but you don't find yourself thinking about them or missing them when they're not with you. If things are a little more serious, you will always find yourselves saying you miss each other and are eager to see them again.

You talk about the things that matter

In order to form a good connection with someone, you need to share the deeper things with them. The moment you are comfortable to confide in each other with the confidence that you will be accepted by them, you have crossed the line from dating to being in a relationship.

You stop looking for other dates

A sure sign that you are in a relationship is that you stop looking for other dates. When you are just dating, you aren't involved enough not to look around but in a relationship you don't actively spend a lot of time searching for other people you may be attracted to. Relationships are a much higher level of commitment.

These are very broad and basic ways of determining how to define your relationship status. None of these things are a match for sitting down together and having a conversation about what you want from being together. The important thing to remember about the signs for being in a relationship is that you both feel them. Talking is the only way to truly define the way things really are between you.