The Difference Between Male and Female Communication Styles

The greatest problem I have experienced with communications between males and females is the constant need to try and change the other to your communication style. Example the male deficit model, which says that male's interpersonal communications are inferior to woman and; therefore, woman need to change men's style of communication in able to have an interpersonal relationship with them. The same is true for men as we strive to change women's communications styles so to better understand the straightforwardness of our actions. These ideas about men and woman only reinforce the communication stereotypes instead of viewing each human as neither male or female, but a dynamic person who employs all sorts of communication styles. The alternative paths model states that males and females are different in the way they express closeness, but both are equally valid. This model does away with the power aspect, by putting male and female communications on the same equal level, one is no better then the other. Just like humans throughout the world, we all have different ways of expressing ourselves, but one is no more valid or better then the other. Now that we have an equal playing field for both gender communication styles we can objectively look at their outcomes. Males are seen as having tough exteriors when it comes to expressing our emotions and that we are very reluctant to open up to emotions. This is usually followed by a effort to use feminine communication styles to bring this out. This style will not be effective because the individual does not use it or respond to it well. Males can be extremely interpersonal if you use the right masculine communication methods. There is always a way of getting down deep into a guy's mind you just need to know the path. This is very different from feminine communications as asking alone can bring out the information desired. Males are more guarded with this information, but not impenetrable.

First we don't tell things to just anyone we have to see that they understand how we communicate as we do not like to be adapted to feminine styles. Second we take more time, things don't all come out at once instead it is progression you have to follow getting deeper and deeper as you go. Finally you have to find our trigger the idea or thought that will get the ball rolling into interpersonal dialogue. This is the hardest part, but it usually something the person talks about all the time like money for example can be a gateway into a man's psyche through the context of money usage.

The same goes for men trying to change woman to understand our very direct communication styles. Men must learn to think more emotionally and realize that things are not just about surface appearance, and that there are many indirect communications that exist in every interaction, that we might not be fully aware of or know the extent to which it might effect someone. The more we polarize the sides of masculine and feminine communications the less intermingling of the two will exist creating more of a black and white society, than a well rounded androgynous one that uses all styles of communications. Each style masculine and feminine are valuable communication styles that need to be used adaptively instead of concretely.