The Difference Between Sex and Making Love

Dawn Fuller
Many often confuse the difference between sex and making love. Some often compare the two as being the same thing. Most people do not realize that there is a difference between these two. In this article I will give my opinion on why these two things are different from one another.

Let's start with sex. To me sex is something that doesn't often involve real feelings or even a committed, real relationship. Many people have a "friend with benefits," which is what I would put under the category of sex. Often times there are others who seek pleasure from one-night stands. There is never any real emotions or deep feelings; it's ONLY about the pleasure of the act. Usually when people only seek to have sex, there is very little fore play and intimacy afterwards, the holding and cuddling of one another, well that don't happen often. Many people are fine with having sex just for pleasure, never caring for the emotional aspects of being in love. Often some will jump partner to partner because that is all they are seeking, which is the immediate rush and release in the pleasure of sex.

I am one of the ones who have never been able to do this sort of thing. I could never just have a "friend with benefits" or jump into a one-night stand. Part of that are the values I have about lovemaking. It also, for me, means more that my partner is in love with me, and sex is not just about pleasure. This is where making love comes into play.

When two people who are in love with each other, and who share that emotional bond with one another, they care very much about making their partner feel cherished and taken care of. When someone who is in love makes love to their partner, they take care of all their needs, not just sexually. They will take time by doing foreplay and making their lover feel loved. They are attentive to their partners every needs and desires. They get more joy out of satisfying them then they do themselves. Often times, they do not always need to be satisfied while making love. Making love between two people who are in love is often slow and intimate. After lovemaking many couples that love one another will hold and cuddle their lover as a deeper form of intimacy afterwards. This also brings the lovers together and they connect deeper on that emotional bond. At least for me that is how I am.

I know some may not necessarily agree with my article. I am strictly giving my opinion on what I feel is the difference between sex and making love. It is in my opinion that there is a difference. I'm sure to however, that there are some who agree with me whole-heartedly.

Published by Dawn Fuller

I am a single mom of one little boy. I used to love writing back in high school but never stuck with it. This site just seems like a fun and creative way to get back into writing again.  View profile

29 Comments

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  • Anshad J5/13/2012

    love to hear that people here same like me who believe in love and love making.

  • Barbara3/18/2011

    Sex is just for pleasure no emotional ties. Making love the man will look you in your eyes kiss your back caress you your vagina breasts tongue kiss you hold you tight and wont want to let go of you plus even if you have no strings attached sex there is always one person who ends up getting hurt in the end its not worth the suffering or thinking that what they did with you they are doing with somebody else!:(

  • Anonymous2/19/2011

    dats tru indid sex iz lyk dat n totaly difa to make love

  • Bad girl1/22/2011

    I totally agree with your article. This is the biggest problem in my life now. I met a guy who wanted tot have sex with me for fun and I was falling in love with him. I gave everything he asked for. He didn't even kiss me for one and half year. I wanted to stop seeing him and I couldn't. I wish I never met him in my life. I feel so cheap to love him.

  • Bill12/27/2010

    Oftentimesthereareotherswhoseekpleasurefromone-nightstands.ThereisneveranyrealemotionsordeepfeelingsitsONLYaboutthepleasureoftheact.Usuallywhenpeopleonlyseektohavesex,thereisverylittleforeplayandintimacyafterwards,theholdingandcuddlingofoneanother,wellthatdonthappenoften.Icantelljustfromthiscommentthatyoureveryyoung.Yourviewofsexissocoldandemotionless,butwhydopeoplehavesex?PeoplenormallydontsaytothemselvesIdontfeelanythingforthisgirl,manIfeellikehavingsexwithherTheremustbeaconnectionthere.Ofcourseasyougettoknowsomeone,andpossiblyfallinlove,thesexwillgetbetterbecausethebrain,andtheemotionsthatcomealongwithit,isthebiggesterogenouszone.Andthatiswhereyoutheoryofsexbeingrough.Wouldntyouagreethatwhenpeoplearedeeplyconnectedwithanother,thesexwillbemorepassionate?Andasaresult,rougher?Youlabelofsexandmakinglovearejustpop-culturelabelsandcardboardscutoutsofwhatyouvebeentoldastheyoungpersonyouare.Thereisnothoughtbehindanythingyouwroteabout,youarejustregurgitatingandnarrowminded,naive,andthoughtle

  • Jennifer12/10/2010

    If you aren't willing to trade up to make both of you happy and he or she with you and it's not something you are interested in trying with each other then maybe you haven't found your right partner yet.

  • Jennifer12/10/2010

    it's because we know what makes each other happy and what each other wants.

    We make love but we dont cuddle, he gets physically hot too quick since i give off a lot of body heat and I feel suffocated because I'm claustrophobic. It's all a matter of preference.

    Just because you don't cuddle or have foreplay doesn't mean you only had sex, it's your feelings that you both share between each other that make it love making. It's being in tune with what your partner wants and likes and allowing him or her to be in tune with you. I agree with the article but it's only 1 side of the story and as the writer said, it is her opinion.

    To me, making love is all about understanding and learning to understand your partner and sharing each other's feelings. If he wants to cuddle and you dont, trade up, do what he or she likes a couple times and then do what you like to a couple times to make you both happy. If you aren't willing to trade up to make b

  • Jennifer12/10/2010

    I agree with the article but at the same time I feel that love is different for everyone. Sex is sex, it's emotionless, the main goal is to feel that sexual release.

    However with love, it's different, like for some people love making is tentative foreplay before and cuddling after, but that's not in all cases.

    In my case, I am very much in love with my husband and he with I. We make wonderful love together, whether it be slow or fast, rough or gentle, it depends on our moods. Our difference from the article is, we don't do foreplay very much, i may do a some on him which he and I both enjoy, but I don't like it on me and not because he isn't good, I just don't like it. And he knows this, dont get me wrong, during actual love making i do like to be groped and what not but I don't care for foreplay on me, never have. And neither one of us are cuddlers and it's not because we don't love each other or don't want to make each other happy, i

  • Evan Nassau11/19/2010

    I have recently written an article about the important differences between intercourse and oral sex from both a physiological as well as a symbolic perspective -> http://www.evannassau.com/intercourse-and-oral-sex/

  • Shatera7/19/2010

    I feel that when yhu have sex it will b fast n stuff but when yhu make love you will enjoy it it wont b fast you and your lover will take yall time on it and you would not regreat doing it with your lover

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