The Difference Between Shaming and Blaming.

I thought it might be time to write another article and to interrupt myself from my reading of a thesis written by an Honors student (Denis Hay) where he discusses domestic violence intervention programs.

I've spent the last 12 years of my professional life working within Indigenous contexts; in the prison system (where there is an extremely high proportion of Indigenous prisoners) and at various universities in Indigenous Degree programs.

In the prison system I delivered some programs on Family Violence. The main program then available in the 'mainstream' was the Duluth Program which has been developed from a feminist friendly viewpoint which says that domestic violence is administered primarily from the hands of men, who by default of the patriarchal society in which we live exert power and control over women who become their victims because they are in a weaker position within society and hence also in the domestic relationship. The Duluth Model Wheel of Abuse outlines the modus of domestic abuse.
I found that this model was not well received by Indigenous people and for a number of reasons I developed my own programs to use. Most Indigenous societies and sub-groupings within Australia are matriarchal.

Indigenous people I have spoken to do not like the way the Duluth model alienates men and do not agree with the basic tenet that, in order to successfully intervene to prevent family violence, there needs to be separation from their men-folk.

Often couples who are taking part in a Duluth based intervention program are advised to separate whilst they are undergoing the counseling process and this is distasteful, if not downright impossible for Indigenous people who live and operate from within a very tightly-knit kinship system and I believe that from an Indigenous perspective the use of judgment and blame can be seen to be counterproductive.

I've found many points of divergence between the western mainstream and Indigenous viewpoints and one important thing that I would like to discuss here is 'Shame'.
In Western mainstream culture we may often accuse or insult someone, and I find that this practice of insulting or making accusations against someone is far less commonplace with Indigenous people. The closest thing to an insult amongst Indigenous people is to say out loud, "Shame". The effective delivery of this utterance also requires appropriate use of body language and most usually this involves simultaneously hiding one or both of your eyes from view and looking away from who you are talking to.

There is an important cultural distinction to be made here; shame implies that an infraction made is that which damages the relationship between people whereas on the other hand guilt is what arises as a result of the act of one individual against another individual.

I'm unsure if I've managed to make my point here; mainstream western culture places emphasis upon the 'individual' where an infraction results in guilt whereas an Indigenous view emphasizes the inter-relationship between people where an individual's actions that can cause harm or threat to the ongoing viability of the relationship results in 'shame'.
Hence I believe that any successful intervention program to be delivered within an Indigenous context needs to be underpinned by an understanding of 'shame' and its appropriate context.
Shaming perpetrators of domestic abuse does not alienate them per se as often they feel shamed by their own behaviors irregardless. This, I might guess has much to do with the honeymoon phase of the cycle of domestic violence, but this is fodder for further articles later on.

The actual main point I wanted to make tonight was to implore you all to consider the difference between shame and guilt and the many ramifications that can arise.