The Differences Between Male and Female Bullying

In their book, No it's not OK (Penguin Books, 2007), Tania Roxborogh and Kim Stephenson elaborate on the different behaviors of male and female bullies as well as the effects that their actions have on their victims. The differences are often more pronounced in single sex schools but this is not a given. By studying the way bullies behave and the response in their victims, parents can become more aware of the danger signals.

The Actions of Male Bullies

Male bullies tend to be more physical than females and are more impulsive. If they see an opportunity to victimize a person, they will generally take advantage of it. Their methods are normally more direct and they tend to enjoy the status a fight brings them. They indulge in menacing behavior towards their victims which can include a push in the school corridor or pinning them against a wall.

The Actions of Female Bullies

While girls are also guilty of physical bullying, they tend to prefer more emotional means such as verbal abuse, exclusion and manipulation. They tend to work in groups and may strategize and plan their next attack on their unfortunate victim. Spreading rumors and gossip is common and they can be quite malicious.

The Response of Male Victims to Bullying

Boys who are being bullied respond by withdrawing and isolating themselves. Because this is typical teenage behavior, parents often don't notice the warning signs. The child may begin to spend extended periods in his bedroom and spend a lot of time on the computer or Playstation.

Conversely, they may become very angry and act out this anger. This normally takes the form of aggression and hostility. He may try and dominate at home to compensate for what is happening at school. Because male bullies are more physical, the victim may have physical marks such as bruising or ripped clothing. Slightly built males tend to bow their heads and shrink into themselves - a subconscious effort to make themselves invisible.

The Response of Female Victims to Bullying

Girls normally react with their emotions. They may become more sensitive and tearful and react strongly to minor family disagreements. In a similar fashion to male victims, she may try and dominate younger siblings. If cyber bullying is an issue, she will often spend a lot of time on her mobile phone or computer although the messages are abusive and degrading. If a daughter shows sudden reluctance to go to favourite places such as a mall or park, she may be avoiding bullies.

Understanding the way bullies work and their victims react can alert parents and teachers to warning signs. Bullying is never acceptable and it takes a community of people working together to stamp it out. If in any doubt, ask questions and make careful observations before taking action.