The Difficulty of Shopping for Tweens

Shopping for tweens today is a much more difficult task than I remember it being when I was a tween. When I was 12, clothes were clothes. Sure, i had my preferences about what I wanted to wear, but my clothing did not dictate who I was.

While shopping with my 12 year old sister over the summer, it dawned on me just how definitive clothing has become. What one wears defines who they are. And this is especially true for the tween crowd.

Tweens are kids ages 10-12, usually middle schoolers who are just coming into themselves and for the first time, trying to figure who they are and where they fit in. Junior high school is were most cliques are formed, kids are labeled, and self image is created.

My sister considers herself a melee of things: ballet dancer, singer, actress, violinist, artist, and writer. She has a lot of friends, does well in school, and is involved in a host of extracurricular activities. You would think that a child so well-rounded would be easy to shop for. You would think.

The most important factor to consider is size. Tweens are all different sizes. Some have started to mature and have hit several growth spurts, while others have yet to do so, and usually feel pretty inadequate and small (this I know from personal experience). My sister has always been on the smaller side, but recently she finally shot up several inches and her body is going through changes. Yet, she is still as big around as a toothpick.

This lead to the most difficult item to shop for: pants. While being the waist size of a girl's eight, she needs the length of a 12 or 14. And she absolutely despises belts. Under no circumstances will she wear them. I understand this. I went through that same phase until I realized belts were not only my best friend when it comes to keeping my pants up, but a great fashion accessory. Luckily, some companies, such as Old Navy, sell girls' pants with adjustable waist bands. But only up to a certain size. My sister had either grow to love belts, or grow some hips and tush rather quickly if she wants to keep her underwear to herself.

There are also a myriad of different styles for tweens to choose from when it comes to pants these days. I remember having two choices when I was younger. There was pleated, or not. Everything was tapered leg and high waisted, so that did not matter. Man, I hated jeans. My sister gets to choose from straight-legged, flared, boot-cut, skinny, high-waisted and low-rise. And then does she want them stone washed, dark, light, distressed, black, or gray? What is her pocket preference- cargo, regular, flaps, or none at all? It takes forever just to pick out a couple pairs of pants!

Shirts are a whole separate set of problems. Luckily, my sister is a big fan of layering. She is in her oversized tshirts and hoodies phase, which is actually okay with me, because she is keeping covered up. But shirts are more suggestive now than they used to be. Do pre-teens really need shirts that dip down to show off their newfound cleavage, or with phrases such as "I Love To Study Boys" written across them? While there are a lot of shirts out there that are innocently appropriate for young girls, there are just as many that make a 25 year old woman blush. For instance, while browsing the racks at Bon Ton, we came across several tshirts with popular products emblazoned on the front. Shirts displaying Dr. Pepper, Pepsi-Cola and Kix were cute and seemingly comfortable and age appropriate. Then I came across the Blow Pop tshirt, with the phrase "How many licks?" written along the bottom. How about no! No, no, no! Not for a 12 year old! Not even for a 25 year old! That is just plain disdainful and downright disgusting!

I know that shopping for myself is getting more and more difficult. I like to look stylish, but not at the expense of my dignity. If being in vogue with the latest fashions means looking like I should be standing on the street corner, then no thanks. Clothing is not only more crude than before, but it is more expensive, as well. This makes no sense when there is seemingly much less to it than in previous days. And this said clothing is more complicated, with all of its buckles, straps, Velcro, ties and loops. I refuse to wear an article of clothing that needs an instruction manual.

Maybe I am just a prudish woman with no fashion sense, but I would like to think differently. After all, I am the one my friends and family come to when they need fashion advice. I keep up on the latest fashion trends. I read the magazines and look at what celebrities are wearing. I have always been fashion forward. I would like to think there is a way to remain so without showing the world all of my bits and pieces. And I hope there the clothing industry will begin to look at some of the choices they are offering to young girls and ask themselves if they would really let their little sisters, nieces, and daughters out of the house wearing what they are offering.