The Dilemma of Socks and the Clothes Dryer

I am sure I am not the only one who has wondered what the deal with socks and the clothes dryer is. It never fails that one sock always gets lost; at least one in every load. Sometimes more if the dryer is feeling greedy that day. The question is where do the socks go? Where can they be?

Theories

Is the clothes dryer a living, eating, beast that needs to be fed 100% cotton on a regular basis? Are socks the sacrifice we, as humans must give the machine in order for it to give us its warming convenience so we can have our clothes clean and dry in less than an hour? If this indeed is the case, I am more than willing to give up a sock every now and again to have the clothes dryer keep working for me.

Could it be that the washer is the real culprit here and the clothes dryer is being blamed unfairly, for crimes it did not commit? Maybe the washer is the one who demands the sacrifice and takes what it needs in order for it to reach the much needed spin cycle? We can never really know what goes on in a washer because each time we lift the lid, all motion stops. We are only left to wonder.

Another odd fact seems to be, that sometimes it seems as if the sock you lost has been replaced with a sock you have never in your life seen before. This is a common phenomenon for those who use public laundry facilities, but it has been known to happen and not rarely, to people who only use a washer and dryer at home. How is this possible? Who exactly is playing with our minds?

I personally hang on to single socks for years and years. I always imagine someday the other sock showing up like Lassie, and wanting its mate. What if I didn't have it, would the sock take off for parts unknown in search of the elusive sock mate?

Maybe there is a creature that lives in all laundry facilities that needs socks in order for the species to survive and has to take their chances in a commando type mission in order to slip one or two socks under our noses. They must have been around since time immemorial because socks have been going missing for a lot longer than we have been using electrical conveniences to wash and dry our clothing.

One last theory I propose is that perhaps there exists either black holes or wormholes wherever clothing is being washed or dried. It could be that these dark energies are attracted to cotton and seek to suck some into their voids in order to continue in the universe.

This is one mystery that may never be solved as it has been irking mankind for centuries. As long as there are socks there will be mass disappearances and we lowly humans can only stand by and feel the devastation in the after affects of the kidnappings, if in fact that is what they are. It could be the socks are taking off of their own violation and the washer and dryer is the first chance they have at escape.