The Dirty S Word

No; it is not sex and it is not a four letter word. It's submission-a word despised by women for years. Its meaning has been so misconstrued and tainted that many of us cringe when we hear it. But it shouldn't be that way. I've learned that it is we women who have contributed to its negative connotations.

According to www.dictionary.com, submit can mean the following:

1. to give over or yield to the power or authority of another (often used reflexively).

2. to subject to some kind of treatment or influence.

3. to present for the approval, consideration, or decision of another or others: to submit a plan; to submit an application.

4. to state or urge with deference; suggest or propose (usually fol. by a clause): I submit that full proof should be required.

5. to yield oneself to the power or authority of another: to submit to a conqueror.

6. to allow oneself to be subjected to some kind of treatment: to submit to chemotherapy.

7. to defer to another's judgment, opinion, decision, etc.: I submit to your superior judgment.

We'll just consider two meanings-to yield to authority and to present for the approval of another. Whether you believe it or not, if you are a married woman, you are to yield to the authority of your husbands. Christian or non-Christian, the husband is the head of the family and the household.

However, because of our own inferiority complexes, we women have the need to feel that we are equals in our marriages. That, in essence, is insane. Simply put, I've always heard that anything with two heads is a monster. And, if there are two heads in your marriage, I'm sure it is very scary.

After years of fighting for our civil rights, we women were convinced that we would no longer be treated as inferiors to men. So we have discarded the 'submissiveness' of our great grandmothers and believe that we are to share the duties of heading our families with our husbands.

Although it troubles us to succumb to the idea of submitting to our husbands, we yield daily to the authority of another. We live in a democracy, but our country is run by a group of elected leaders who set the laws of the land. We obey the speed the limit signs as we drive to pick up our children from school. Why? It's because we don't want to face the consequences of getting a speeding ticket. Unless we are unemployed or self-employed, we submit to the authority of our bosses while we are at work. Why? It's because we don't want to lose our jobs.

So, then why is it so difficult to submit to our husbands? After all, we gave them their positions. Unless you had an arranged marriage, you answered "yes" to his marriage proposal. Are the consequences of destroying our marriages and homes not as severe as getting speeding tickets or losing our jobs? This may be an elementary way to look at it, but I think it makes lots of sense.

I am a submissive wife. I am not a dominated wife. I am not an abused wife. I speak my mind and let my husband know when I don't necessarily agree with him. I discipline my children and I don't need his permission to do so. I can walk to the mailbox and leave home freely as I choose. I am not inferior-I just have a different position.