The Divorce List to Moving on Quickly

Divorce is hard to go through no matter who you are, what gender you are or if you knew it was coming. It still feels like betrayal. It hurts all those around you, your kids, your family and you. It doesn't matter if it was your fault, their fault or no one's fault. All you know is that you hurt. Your heart is breaking into a million pieces and you don't know what you are going to do to survive.

The point is you will survive. You will stop crying and start to feel again. You'll feel sorry for yourself then you feel anger like you have never experienced before in your life. But you will live and you will move on and begin to love again. You will first love to hate, then begin to love your freedom. Soon you will love just for the sake of loving. You will love life again.

But for those who want to reach the goal of loving life a little quicker there are things you can do. It is a matter of accepting that the divorce is going to happen. It won't matter if you cry, laugh or kill. Divorce happens. You want to move on and feel good again so let's get rolling with a few ways to speed the process for those ready to move on with life, because they can't stop what is happening now.

1. First is to forgive yourself. Stop blaming yourself even if you have good reason. It's over and it's done. The guilt only eats at you and gives others a way to use it as a weapon against your emotions. So stop. Let them be the one's to be angry and miserable.

2. Now it's time to make a list. What have you always wanted to do, but didn't feel you could with the partner you had? That will go at the top of the list. It doesn't matter how outrageous it is. Just put it done and start the smile from the inside. Anything from learn to fly to travel to Mars.

3. The list will grow as time goes on and you will begin to refine it. For your next part of the list pick a secret for yourself. This secret is something you can hold close to your heart for your own amusement when another is trying to tell you all the reason you are a rotten person. The secret? How about sex with someone you know in the parking lot of the local night club. Just because you have never been to the night club doesn't mean you can't have a fantasy about the place or a person to go with it!

4. Make a plan. You don't and won't feel guilty anymore for wanting to have lunch with someone you work with. Remember not to step on someone else's relationship, but if there is someone you are interested in ask them for a lunch date. If there are several have a different lunch date each day of the week! It's ok. You aren't tied to anyone nor do you have to declare a loyalty to any one person now that you have your freedom.

5. Go out. Get to know other people. They don't all have to be of the opposite sex or a possible mate. Find a way to just have some fun for any reason you choose. A few suggestions are join the senior center if you are older. Be an usher at the local theater. Take a class on sexual exploration, cooking, bird watching, painting, relaxation or anything with the slightest bit of fun for you.

6. Dance! Put on music and dance. Dance in the morning when you get up. Dance in the sunlight. Dance with you dog or cat. Dance at night before bed. Dance naked! That will really get the blood flowing at the beginning of the day. You are moving, you are playing and you're having fun. Fun just for you.

7. Put on something nice and go to a club. You can go just to people watch, watch a game at a sports bar or meet friends. Maybe even meet new friends. Don't be too quick to jump into a relationship. Remember you are looking for a little fun, not this kind of danger. Your safety is first.

8. Tell all your friends you are ready to date and have some fun. Plan a camping trip with a group of friends or plan a day at the lake or beach. Everyone brings something to share and make yourself stay.

9. Think good thoughts. I know this sounds simple, but it works. Don't be a negative person to everyone you meet and don't have a chip on your shoulder. It's ok to tell your story, but make it short and move on to something fun.

10. Eat! Enjoy every bite you take. There is no one to tell you what it will do to you or how fat you will get. It's your life and your body. If you want to eat something sweet and gooey then enjoy it. Every single bite is a taste of heaven. You are now in charge of your choices so start with the fun ones!

You are off to a flying start. Don't sit around feeling sorry for yourself, because you end up being the only one crying while everyone else is laughing and having fun. It's ok to have fun too. Don't let others make you feel guilty about having a good time. It's your life, not theirs. Find what you want to do even if it is as simple as read a book, go for a drive and meet a new friend. Have fun and moving on with your new life as quickly as possible.