The Dog, the Cat, and a Ham Sandwich

The dog watched the cat very carefully.

Both spared the quickest of glances for the man that lay stretched on the floor between them and slightly to the side. They spared a slightly longer glance for the half-finished ham sandwich that lay upon his stomach.

The cat loved ham with a predator's passion.

The dog loved anything that wouldn't bite him back..

They continued to watch each other very carefully.

The cat oh so slowly took at step forward, its tail slicing the air behind it in quick, decisive swipes.

The dog quickly took a step forward, thought better of it, took two steps backwards, turned around twice, and finally sat down a little to the left of where it had been before.

The cat growled lightly.

The dog drooled.

The cat took another step.

The dog laid down, cocked its head, licked its nose, forgot what it was doing for a moment, smelled the ham, remembered, and then proceeded to sniff the carpet.

The cat put one paw, oh so delicately, on the man's arm.

The dog, suddenly deciding that decisive action was called for, walked over to the man and sat down next to his leg..

They were both equidistant from the sandwich.

The cat gave the dog a fierce stare..

The dog wondered what the cat was staring at.

The cat growled again lightly.

The dog wondered if the cat was going to cough up hair.

The cat lightly jumped up on the man's chest, all the while staring intently at the dog.

The dog decided he had to pee, but felt it would be wiser to do it on a full stomach, so he moved forward along the man's side, closing the distance between him and the sandwich

The cat tensed.

The dog tensed.

Everything was very, very still.

The cat darted

The dog jumped

There was a sudden flurry of hissing, howling, barking and growling! Claws scratched! Teeth snapped! Fur and mayonnaise filled the air!

It was at about this time that the man woke up from his nap.

The battle became a rout.

The dog and the cat, choosing retreat as a viable tactical alternative to certain doom, decided that elsewhere was a nice place this time of year and left quickly. The man must of thought so too because he quickly followed.

And I got the sandwich.

Yum!