The Do's and Dont's of Beating the Workplace Bully

No matter where you work, there will be at least one unpleasant or otherwise annoying person you have to deal with. In most cases, you have no choice but to tolerate these people and their minor annoyances. If you find yourself working with a bully though, don't tolerate it.

Bullies come in all kinds. They may be the boss above you, or the catty female in the cubicle next to you. Either way, their act is vicious. They degrade your work performance when you've always been thought of as capable. They talk about how you have no business working there. Their plan to take you down follows you home and ruins your time off.

Fortunately, there is a way out. If you're the victim of bullying at work, take these steps to end it now.

DON'T:

Retaliate against your bully. You may feel like you want to start jumping back at them when they make false claims about you, but don't. It's not OK to sit there and take their accusations as truth, but if you retaliate, you let your emotions get the best of you. You could come out and get angrier than you wanted to sound. If your bully is a boss, this retaliation is not a good idea. Keep it together when around the bully.

Recruit your coworkers to your side. It's always good to have someone you can vent to, but keep it at venting. If they offer advice, though, listen to what they have to say. If they don't appear to be listening attentively, drop the subject immediately.

Exaggerate the truth. When telling your story, tell the truth about what happened; nothing more and nothing less. You could get into trouble for blowing a story out of proportion.

Quit on the spot. You may be tempted to get away from a bully by quitting, but don't hand in your resignation letter until you've exhausted all solutions.

DO:

Document all incidents of bullying. Include:

Date and day of the week of an incident

A complete description of what happened (or at least as much as you can remember.) Any witnesses

How it made you feel.

Arrange a meeting with someone higher up than your bully. In my case, one of my bosses was my bully. I met with the manager that was higher on the ladder than her.

Stay level headed in your meeting. Don't beat around the bush when you get in. Come right out and say you are having a problem with so-and-so. Start out by saying that they've said and/or done some things that were inappropriate. Then, explain that you have documentation and pass it over to the person you are meeting with.

Answer any questions the manager may have as best as you can. Don't worry if something escapes you, but at the same time, don't balk on answering all of the questions the person may have.

Be open to a solution. Unfortunately, the solution may not include firing your bully. However, someone may be able to speak to him or her about your complaint and put an end to the behavior. If this is the case, go along with it and ask if you have to be present or if more copies of your documentation will be needed.

It is never easy to be a victim of bullying at work, but you can put an end to it. It may take a lot of work and standing up for yourself is not easy, but you will gain more confidence and maybe your bully will be forced to have a change in attitude. Hopefully, your issues will be resolved and you will be able to move on to a more peaceful professional life.