The Dragon Named Depression

When I was 11 years old, I went through something that no 11 year old should and that put me into this deep depression. I was very anti-social with everyone. With family I put on a front. I tried to bury everything deep down and I succeeded for a little while. Then when I hit the age of 15 years old everything came rushing back to me stronger then before. I attempted to kill myself with cutting. I tried several times but I just couldn't die. Something wasn't letting me.

I then buried myself around guys. I lost my virginity at 15 years old because I was trying to fill this empty hole inside me. Sex didn't work so I moved onto pot. It numbed me for a while but I needed something stronger. Something more powerful and longer lasting. I then went to pills. My depression was all forgotten once I had taken some pills. It was perfect. Then once I came down off my high I was back to that sad little girl that I hated. I loathed myself more then anyone ever should. I couldn't stand to look at myself in the mirror. I began to take more and more pills and started sneaking guys in my house and sneaking out of my house to go be with guys. I wanted to just forget about everything. I wanted to feel something besides anger and hate.

I got so wild I moved out of my house and in with my cousin. There I had access to a car and had just gotten my license and turned 16. So I was out there more then ever now. My cousin and I would even score some pot, bring it home and smoke it. I was happy high. No worries came over me at all.

So now here I am out on my own. I got a job at a local fast food place. My day consisted of waking up, going to school, scoring some pills during the day and taking them, coming home, taking more pills, going to work, and coming home. A lot of the times I would sneak out of my cousin's house and go to a party and get as messed up as I possibly could and then drive home and start my day over.

The more drugs I would do the less I would be depressed or at least that's what I thought in my mind. Then one day I meet this guy when I was 17, almost 18. A guy that actually liked me for me not because I would sleep with him or not because I would party hardcore with him. He liked me as me. However he didn't know about my wild side. He walked into the restaurant I was working at and I fell in love. We started dating and I wanted to change for him. So I quit everything cold turkey. It was hard but I wanted him and I knew he wouldn't like me if he knew who I really was.

He proposed to me and I let him know about who I used to be. He made me happy. He broke my depression curse. He was my knight in shining armor that came and rescued me from the great firing breathing dragon named depression. We are now happily married with 2 kids. The angry dragon has never reared it's big ugly head again after I let everything go.