The Dumbest Boxing Nicknames

Forty-seven years ago, my grandfather, John Ford (not the director nor an heir to the automobile empire), introduced me to boxing - at least that's my earliest memory of it. I would sit on his lap, a precocious three year old, and we would eat apples together as we watched grown men duke it out.

He would spiral his pocket knife around each red gem and give me the coiled peels (my favorite). I loved being Grandpa's girl as we stared at men, in what appeared to be their underwear, challenge each other on the black and white screen. As they punched and jabbed, it seemed more comedic than dangerous at the time.

In honor of my grandfather, I present my list of the five worst nicknames to ever grace a professional boxing ring's marquee.

Michael "Double M" Moorer

"Double M" is what you name your ranch when you've retired from boxing - not what you call yourself when you are trying to intimidate an opponent.

Seems something simple like "Mean" Michael Moorer would have sufficed for the three-time heavyweight champion whose former employer, trainer Freddie Roach, said of him in an interview: "he wasn't always a nice person as a fighter." (www.skysports.com)

Pernell "Sweet Pea" Whitaker

How menacing is a name that is shared with my favorite bubble bath fragrance?

Of course, since Pernell was better known for avoiding a punch than for landing one, maybe menacing was not what he was after. Playing defense did get him a record of 40-4-1, with 17 knock-outs.

Still, I doubt that "Sweet Pea" was what they called him as a kid growing up in a Norfolk, Virginia, housing project. Or, maybe they did, and that's how he learned his commendable defensive fighting skills.

Lance "Goofi" Whitaker

The second Whitaker on my list (no relation to the first), Lance initially earned the nickname "Mount" for his formidable size. Sixteen years after he took home the bronze medal at the Pan American games, he inexplicably adopted the moniker of "Goofi". The name, however you spell it, belongs at the Magic Kingdom, not in the boxing arena.

It does seem Whitaker has come to his senses. In a recent match against Oliver McCall, the 6' 8" heavyweight reclaimed the "Mount" handle.

Ronald "Winky" Wright

I know he's a Tampa Bay area hometown hero, but can you really take a man seriously when his name is Winky? It must be his 50-5-1 record (including 25 knock-outs) that earns him respect, certainly not a name that would be more suited to a Telletubby. Oh wait, Tinky Winky is the name of a Telletubby.

The former undisputed light middleweight champion of the world appears to be a truly stand-up guy. I just think he needs a stand-up nickname.

Laila "She Bee Stinging" Ali

We don't want to forget the ladies.

While I think Laila Ali is terrific and loved her as a co-host of the re-vamped American Gladiators television show, I'm not as equally fond of her nickname. "She Bee Stinging" sounds more like the title of a campy horror movie or, if you say it really fast, a bad reality television series. Certainly the woman who is arguably the most well-known female boxer of our lifetime is deserving of a more respectable fight name.