The Dust Bunny Diary, April 2009

Hi, world. I am Nigel. I am a nine-pound dust bunny dog. I am actually an Affen WaWa ; what ever that is. I have decided to create a blog because I am very lonely. You see I have a hard life . I live with a herd of cats that treat me very badly. They are lead by an old curmudgeonly black Manx named Sable. He sleeps all the time and kangaroo punches me with her paws when I "accidentally" wake him. Next there is Cherokee, a real diva cat. She is part Persian but can never do a thing with her fur. She spends her day bugging my human for tuna. Yeah, like she is entitled to people food. Next come Hermes; she black and white like Cherokee but have hurt hair. She is neurotic and tries to mark me all the time .She follows me around rubbing me with her head. Like, I would ever be her friend, such an idea. I keep telling Hermes that I am a dog and she does not believe me. Lastly, there is the baby Vive. Vive is not black or white but grey and white. The other cats make comments about her not matching the rest of the herd but she could care less. Vive is cute and knows it. Vive is gullible too. Cherokee often shuts poor Vive inside cabinets and closets. Vive keeps falling for the old "go see what is in there trick". The Diva cat is only threatened by Vive youth.
Then there are two cockatiels in the house. Yep, the cats eye them all the timely; the cats eye them all the time. I keep telling them not to mess with them. They have been known to peck my head when I am in the crate. They sing the same song over and over. I think they are bird brains. Sigh... my life is hard. I plan to share my tribulations her in hopes of finding human and furry friends.

I was written recently by Emma the Great Dane and asked why I get so much computer time. Well, the herd of cats sometimes tries to order canned tuna online, but they only type the same letter over and over. Who said cats were smart? Then they get bored and go to sleep on the printer.

Those two cocky cockatiels only know how to hunt and peck .They pooped on the keyboard trying to enter a life time seed contest. Needless, to say they were banned for computer usage.

Like most small dogs I am very smart so my Person brought me my own computer to help me deal with my loneliness and chronic bad hair days. I correspond with other lonely pooches. If you are a lone pooch harassed by nasty cats, bird brained birds, or ferrets, please write me. I have heard ferret's are terrible gossips and hid dog toys. I hope my person never buys one.

Emma does not appreciate my lowly circumstance. She has a Rottie mixed brother. He of course wishes she would let him sleep; he is sort of fat and needs the exercise. Sigh! Living in a house without a herd of nasty cats; I can dream and blog to release my unending anxiety.

Oh boy there was some excitement at my house today. Cherokee the Diva Cat pushed out the screen on an open window and got in the back yard. My Person went outside and acted like that nasty diva cat was a big baby or something. "Poor kitty this and poor kitty that" she said and gave that furry fuzz ball a treat. She was meowing pathetically playing the whole thing up. There are no such great actresses as distressed Diva cats.

Cherokee is such a lazy Diva cat she does not even groom herself properly and asks regularly to go to the groomer. Um, she tries to get that stupid young Vive cat to do her personal grooming. Vive just ends up creating knots and then Diva cat Cherokee gets more attention from my human. She acts greatly distress at having her precious half Persian fur mattes cut out with common kitchen shears. Just another excuse for Diva cat drama; that's all it is.

My plan did not work. Cherokee is narcissist, but not very bright. I told her there was a field of tuna cans in the back yard that opened when the sun was shinning. Diva cat just had to go see for herself. Stupid cat everyone knows they grow tuna at the grocery store next to the milk bones.

I just had an awful day. It was spring cleaning day and my person put me in the crate. Who protected the housel from the vacuum cleaner when I was in the crate? Who protected my Milk Bone Moose from being sucked up? I would have been in a terrible way if anyone messed with my Moose. They call me a Palin pup because I like my Milk Bone Moose. I do not care. I am a lonely dog and Mister Milk Bone Moose is my best friend. I can't vote so if I am a Palin Pup I am proud. The cat's claim they get to vote, but I think they are lying. The only place you could get that heady herd of cats to go is a local tuna cannery.

I excuse my doggie digression. Back to my terrible day; I started to tell you about. That cocky cockatiel Captain Morgan got to be loose in the youngest human pup's room. There I was stuck, unjustly confined in that crate in the room with the bird brained birds.

Captain Morgan gave me a migraine singing that Andy of Mayberry song over and over. He taunted me saying he knew a song and dogs were too dumb to sing. I replied if I could sing I would learn more than one song. Captain Morgan the cocky cockatiel does not take criticism well. He pecked my head and then pooped on it. No one noticed till the vacuuming was done. Then they human pup boy laughed at me. I wish I could open doors; I would show the cats where their next "lunch "could be had.

window.google_render_ad();
I love Easter. I am the only time of year I get to hunt for rabbit; like a beagle. I hunt among the Easter eggs. I was told no chocolate rabbits by my Person, but I am good at getting Peep rabbits out of plastic eggs. The herd of cats does not hunt for eggs anymore since they found out there was never any tuna in them. They play cat hockey with the plastic eggs and the stale peeps. I eat stale peeps in the middle of the cat's stale peep hockey game. I wait till they are pushing stale peeps on the linoleum floor and pounce on the Peep. It really messes up their stupid kitty games at two am.

Let's face it Peep Rabbit hunting is the closest thing I will ever get to hunting. I am a nine pound dog a big jack rabbit would scare me. Now if I ever see the Easter Bunny I will not attack him. I want my Peep Rabbits.