The Ease of Sexual Addiction

Sex is one of the easiest means to escape the world. It can be an addiction without the side effects experienced with drugs or alcohol. The pleasure it gives can easily mask the pain felt inside.

The stresses of life take a toll on all of us in different ways. We try various ways to reduce/eliminate that stress. Some people spend hours in the gym. Some people spend hours in a bar. Some people find comfort in food. Some people seek the excitement of erotic adventures to satisfy them.

On the surface, there does not appear to be anything wrong with this behavior. It's natural for couples to desire more excitement in their love life. Adding a little spice can improve the relationship. The warning signs occur when the request involve actions totally different from the personality of the partner.

Your partner is normally rather timid. She bruises easily and has a low threshold of pain. She suddenly starts asking you to tie her down and choke/smack her. After making love, you usually cuddle and talk. But she quietly turns away. The next morning, she is her normal self.

Your boyfriend is usually a gentle lover and you have to let him know you are in the mood. He gradually starts pressuring you about making love in public places. You think he's joking and playfully dismiss the idea. But each time you go out, he tries to make out with you. You finally give in one night on the way home from the movies. You have him pull into the parking lot of a shopping center. The two of you find creative ways to make love in and on his car. Afterwards, you feel a rush of excitement, but he hardly says two words and looks upset.

A friend gave me a book to read a few years ago about a woman with a split personality and sexual addiction. She would pick up strangers just for sex. There was no emotional attachment. If she was attracted to him or her, she would seduce, have her way and be gone. Towards the end of the book she realized the reason for her behavior was the result of an abusive parent.

Sex is a very pleasurable act. The comedian Franklin Ajaye has a joke about God making sex so enjoyable that people call out his name. I can't say I've ever done that, but the sensation has been great enough to talk in tongues. The point being, sex does allow for a release unlike anything else you could experience. That makes it easy to use when life becomes stressful. Like any addiction, it won't make the underlying problem go away no matter how wild, thrilling or taboo the sexual adventure.