The Effect of Birth Order in Personality Development

First born children have a lot in common with only children. Both tend to be high achievers. They start out life as the number on child and they continue through life to strengthen and maintain their advantage over others. They tend to enjoy and thrive on competition.

Second born children are typically more flexible. They can adapt more easily to new situations. They will often adapt themselves to their older siblings by accentuating their strengths in an area where their older sibling is weak or less well developed. If, for example, the oldest child is not very responsible, the second child will become a model of responsibility. This capacity to seize upon the weaknesses in others and exploit them for personal advantage is a result of the second child's feeling of inferiority. These children are always trying to compensate for the head start their older sibling received.

Third children are usually the most sensitive to their parent's marital relationship. If there is stress in the marriage, third children are most likely to have stomach aches, act out or show other signs of distress. They often take on the role of mediator in the family. They are more likely than other siblings to attempt to arbitrate disputes and promote reconciliation.

Fourth children often act as an emotional barometer for the whole family. They pick up tension from the entire family and express it, either through symptoms such as headaches and stomach aches or by getting into trouble at school or in the community.

Fifth children seem to begin the cycle again, acting like first borns. Sixth children like second borns and so on.

Middle children - those who fall between two others - whether the second of three or the middle member of a cluster within a large family - are usually influenced by the personality of the next older sibling. They may take on characteristics that are in contrast to this older sibling, becoming something of a mirror image of the older sibling. The middle child of three is often more adaptive and flexible than either the older or the younger sibling.

Youngest children often develop an uncanny ability to get others to wait on them and serve them. They often do this through the seductive power of helplessness. They subtly use a display of helplessness to get others to assist them voluntarily. Some of the great generals of military history were youngest children who knew how to get others to follow them and serve them.

What does information about birth order offer you as a parent? If it helps you understand and accept certain behavior patterns in your children, it is helpful. If it causes you to label, condemn or despair of a child, it is very harmful. By realizing there is no ideal birth position, and that every trait or characteristic has positive potential as well as negative potential, you can help all of your children develop their strengths.