The Effects of Domestic Abuse on Children

Domestic violence is one of the more prevalent forms of crime in our country. In 1994, domestic violence became the leading cause of injury, and an increasing cause for chronic mental and physical illness (Berry 6). Psychologist Susan Forward describes domestic violence as "...any behavior that is intended to control and subjugate another human being though the use of fear, humiliation, and verbal or physical assaults...it is the systematic persecution of one partner by another"(1). It is important to note that women are more likely to be injured than men in domestic fights, but men do not always instigate the situations (Hall and Lynch 1). More often than not, families that exhibit forms of domestic violence include their children as additional victims. There is a connection between child abuse and spousal abuse in homes where domestic violence is prevalent.

The more general term, domestic abuse, is understood to include three distinct areas: physical abuse, emotional abuse, and sexual abuse. Forms of physical violence include: slapping, hitting, kicking, burning, punching, choking, shoving, beating, throwing objects, and restraint of the other partner. Authors Cahn and Lloyd say "Violence may occur in the family because one cannot easily walk away from disagreeable others" (7). According to the frustration-aggression hypothesis, when goal attainment is blocked frustration increases and, as a result, persons become more aggressive increasingly more threatening, and eventually violent (DeTurck 1987). Author Dawn Berry describes emotional abuse as:

Consistently doing or saying things to shame, insult, ridicule, embarrass, demean, belittle, or mentally hurt someone. This may include calling a person names such as fat, lazy, stupid, bitch, silly, ugly, failure; telling someone she can't do anything right, is worthless, is an unfit mother, is undeserving, is unwanted. It also involves withholding money, affection, or attention: forbidding someone to work, handle money, see friends or family, make decisions, socialize, and keep property...It may also include refusing to help someone who is sick or hurt; ridiculing her most valued beliefs, religion, race, heritage, or class; insulting her family or friends. (3)

The third form, sexual abuse, is said to be "any unwanted sexual intimacy forced on one individual by another. It may include oral, anal, or vaginal stimulation or unwanted sexual activity" (Dutton, 1994). According to authors Lloyd and Emery (1994), physical and sexual aggression is self-reinforcing due to the fact that it often is an effective way to get what one wants:

If the aim of engaging in conflict is achieving one's desires or meeting one's needs, and if aggression helps ensure that one "wins", then aggression will be reinforced to the extent that winning is more important than the emotional and physical well-being of the partner (p30).

Basically, this quote says that if a person wants something bad enough, they wont care that they are harming their partner.

Children of all races, creeds, social classes, or religions can be victims of domestic violence. These children perceive these situations as life-threatening and are often left extremely angry due to their sense of helplessness. Over 3 million children are at risk of exposure to parental violence each year (Carlson, 1984). These increasingly large numbers of children become candidates for other forms of social or physical abuse. Children from homes where domestic violence occurs are physically or sexually abused and/or seriously neglected at a rate 15 times the national average (McKay, 1994). A real example is found in the number of child physical and sexual abuse cases filed in 1992. Sate agencies confirmed the approximate 211,000 cases of child physical abuse and 128,000 cases of child sexual abuse (Volpe 1).

The impact of domestic violence upon children varies on several factors including intensity and frequency more than factors such as gender or age. It is important to note that the initial presenting features can be varied in different families. These children often have other problems such as involvement in community or street violence, bullying in school, or educational problems. In addition, these children have an increased risk for developing attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (Woodward, Taylor, and Dowdney 2). Parents in these homes often try to shield their children form the images of domestic violence. More often than not, these parents are completely unsuccessful. "Children hear screams, see injuries, and live in an atmosphere of terror and tension. And they learn that this is what home is like" (Berry 118). These children learn that this form of emotional and physical disrespect is common in everyday life and is perfectly acceptable to use in their lives. The level of emotional damage done to children such as these is astounding. Berry shares one very disturbing story illustrating this example:

One police officer reported hearing a three-year-old boy say to his mother, "If you don't stop that bitch I'm going to shoot you." An eight year-old-boy began beating his six-year-old sister-just as he had observed his father doing to his mother. (118)

Instability and uncertainty are just some of the problems these children face everyday. In one study, 85 percent of children living in battered women's shelters had been sent to live with friends or relatives during the previous year. In addition 75 percent of those over the age of fifteen had run away from home at least twice that year. Medical experts say that children that grow up in homes such as these suffer from guilt, anger, depression, anxiety, shyness, nightmares, aggression, disruptiveness, irritability, problems getting along with others, and "acting out" with parents and siblings (Berry 118).

It is important note that both male and female children do differ in the social or psychological problems that they develop. Boys may create the image that they, as a man, have the right to beat their wives. Girls may create the illusion that they are meant to be abused, or just to accept it as a part of normal home life.

Most children in these situations blame themselves for the violence present in their homes. They will try everything in their power to keep their parents from fighting. Problems such as poor health, low self-esteem, poor impulse control, difficulty sleeping, and feelings of powerlessness are often prevalent. Vissing, Straus, Gelles, and Harrop (1991) reported that children (of both sexes and all ages) who frequently experienced verbal aggression exhibited high rates of physical aggression, delinquency, and interpersonal problems. Consequent studies found that children these children had lower peer status and lees positive reciprocity with peers chosen as friends, were rated by peers as more aggressive and less cooperative, were rated by parents and teachers as more disturbed, and exhibited more insular social networks then other non-exposed children (Salzinger, Feldman, Hammer, and Rosario 1993).

Children learn by observation, including visual and audio. Parents don't realize the level of damage inflicted on their children when they witness domestic violence. Berry says that "...children that who are exposed to violence early in life experience altered brain development-for example, exaggerated reliance on the primitive "fight or flight" response which causes hyper vigilance, difficulty sitting still and concentrating, and learning problems" (119). Extremely young children have been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, and boys as young as two have been observed expressing extremely inappropriate aggression (Berry 119). Reports indicate that a history of family violence or abuse is the most significant difference between delinquent and no delinquent youth (Volpe 3). An important connection is made between juvenile crime and domestic violence with the statement reading:

Exposure to violence in the home is linked to juvenile crime. Conduct disorder and antisocial behavior, even at the age of 7, are powerful predictors of violent behavior towards partners in adolescence and early adult life. The history of violence between partners often begins with fights and assaults on dates. These complex sequences and associations are probably mediated through a mixture of stress, poor parenting, low self-esteem, shame, and self blame. (Cadoret Yates, Troughton, Woodworth, Stewart 2).

Abused children are more likely to become abusers as adults. About twenty percent of those abused as children become sexually abusive of their children later in life (Williams and Finkelhor 1990). Kaufman and Zigler (1987) estimate the percentage of children who grow up to and exhibit signs of domestic violence modeled after their childhood to be around thirty percent. According to one major research study, sons who witnessed their father's violence had a one-thousand percent higher battering rate as adults than sons who did not witness violence (Berry 121). Berry shares a very important and heartbreaking story about earned behaviors:

[...] a father and son were both brought into custody for battering their wives. While the families went through the intake process, the son's wife led her small boy-about four years old-into Jewell's office through a narrow hallway. The little boy bumped his head against the wall and immediately blamed his mother. He began slapping her thigh as hard as he could. Already the message was ingrained: If you are hurt or upset, it's a woman's fault and you should hit her...To prevent people from learning domestic violence it is easier if you begin to educate at an early age, rather than trying to fix it when someone is fifty years old and has been doing it for decades. (121-122)

Domestic violence is considered to be a precursor to child abuse. Those parents who commit domestic violence related crimes often inadvertently neglect their children. The emotional and physical neglect these children face, in conjunction with the images of violence they view, helps reinforce their negative idea of family life. Images created here, based solely on family violence and parental neglect, only further the progression of self-harm and mental illness these children face in their lives.

Sources:

Berry, Bradley Dawn. The Domestic Violence Sourcebook: Everything You Need to Know. Los Angeles: Lowell House, 1999.

Cahn, Dudley D., and Sally A. Lloyd. Family Violence from a Communication Perspective. Thousand Oaks: SAGE Publications, 1996.

Cadoret RJ, Yates WR, Troughton E, Woodworth G, Stewart MA. "Genetic-environmental interaction in the genesis of aggressivity and conduct disorders." Arch Gen Psych 52 (1995): 916-924.

Carlson, B. E. Children's observations of interpersonal violence: Battered women and their families. Hew York: Springer, 1984.

DeTurck, M. A. "When communication fails: Physical aggression as a compliance gaining strategy." Communication Monographs 54 (1987): 106-112.

Dutton, M. A. "Post-traumatic therapy with domestic violence survivors." Handbook of post-traumatic therapy (1994): 146-161.

Forward, Susan, and Joan Torres. Men Who Hate Women and the Woman Who Love Them. New York: Bantam, 1986.

Kaufan, J. and Zigler, E. "Do abused children become abusive parents?" American Journal of Orthopsychiatry 57 (1987): 186-197.

Lloyd, S.A. and Emery, B.C. "Physically aggressive conflict in romantic relationships" Conflict in personal relationships (1994): 27-46.

McKay, M. "The link between domestic violence and child abuse: Assessment and treatment considerations." Child Welfare League of America (1994): 29-39.

Salzinger, A., Feldman, R.S., Hammer, M., and Rosario, M. "The effects of physical abuse on children's social relationships" Child Development 64 (1993): 169-187.

Vissing, Y. M., Straus, M. A., Gelles, R. J., and Harrop, J.W. "Verbal aggression by parents and psychosocial problems of children." Child Abuse and Neglect 15 (1991): 223-238.

Williams, L. M., and Finkelhor, D. "The characteristics of incestuous fathers." Handbook of sexual assault (1990): 231-255.

Woodward L, Taylor E, Dowdney L. "The parenting and family functioning of children with hyperactivity." Journal of Child Psychol Psychiatry 39 (1998): 161-170.