The Elderly: Living and Dying Alone
They are sometimes referred to as "elder orphans." It is estimated, by Kenneth W. Wachter, Ph. D., Chair of the Department of Demography, at the University of California at Berkeley, that "the number of Americans between the ages of 70 and 85, without a living spouse, without any biological or stepchildren, and without living siblings or half-siblings, will total more than 2 million people by the year 2030." It is an increasing problem as the Baby Boomers age, due to their low birth rate, and their longer lifespan. After age 80, Alzheimer's disease increases to between 22% and 40%. This cognitive impairment, leads to the elderly without family, being unable to care for themselves properly.
There is so much isolation in today's society. In a 2004 issue of Geriatric Times, Bruce G. Rosenthal, of the American Homes and Services for the Aging, commented, "As many as 60% of nursing home residents have no regular visitors." In times past, the elderly were part of an extended family, with children or grandchildren nearby, who would assist them in their later years. But with families living all over the globe, there is often not a relative close by, or more often, one who is willing to take on the burden of an aging parent. Many older people express a desire to remain independent for as long as possible, so that they can continue with their daily living patterns, and retain their privacy and dignity. But the ravages of aging often prevent them from being well enough to live alone.
The death of a spouse can bring on a feeling of helplessness and overwhelming loneliness. Some elderly widow or widowers depended on their loved one to be their caregiver, and to do many of the daily tasks of living. They are left, not knowing how to manage on their own, due to sickness and frailty.
Many older people have experienced multiple bereavements as well. Those with dementia or cognitive impairment can't manage the grief process as a healthy person would. They may even forget their loved ones are gone, and wake up each day searching for them. Even for the elderly with good mental function, often clinical depression sets in, and there is insomnia, weight loss, poor nutrition, and withdrawal. They don't usually ask for help, or reach out to others.
It makes me angry that older people are in such horrible situations. All of my life, I have loved the elderly. Perhaps it is because I was raised by by grandparents (alongside my mom) until I was 7. But now that I am caring for my mom, who is widowed, aging, and very ill, I can't imagine her having to face her difficult situation alone. And I can't help but wonder how many people there are like her, or in much worse condition, who are sick, frail, and totally alone.
Sources: http://www.cmellc.com/geriatrictimes/g040203.html
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https://content.nejm.org/cgi/content/full/334/26/1710
Published by Lonnette Harrell
I have been interested in writing from an early age. I wrote, produced, and recorded my own radio program, "Love Notes" for 9 years. It was a combination of motivational/inspirational teaching and music. My... View profile
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- 60% of nursing home residents have no regular visitors.
- Many elderly people have no family and friends, and often die alone.
- Living and dying alone will be a scenario for many Baby Boomers due to increased longevity.
18 Comments
Post a CommentRoryJ-I agree with you completely, and a lot has happened in my own family to adjust my thinking on care of the elderly. MY own mom is now in a NH, as after 3 1/2 years of being her caregiver, I gave out physically and emotionally. My brother and niece took over the past year, but the decline was so rapid, that they also could not go on. This is a growing problem in our society, with elders living longer and longer, but the quality of life often becoming less and less. It has made me want to make plans for my elderly years, as the topic is never far from my mind. At some point, all we can do as family, is ensure that our loved ones are getting good care, when we can no longer go any farther. There is no shame in that, but I wish the alternatives were better. Thanks for your exceleent comments.
While some elders may not have family visitors in nursing homes, it's not really fair to classify them as "dying alone", as there are many special nursing home employees who take time to bond with and love their residents. Also, hospice care is a hugh resource in the US, and hospice agencies contract with nursing homes. Additionally, hospice care can go into private homes and care for elders that do not have family caregivers. Those in the geriatric field are trying to find ways to meet the needs of elders in the community who are alone. Of course, the best solution is for each of us to look after one another...so many people responded to this article by writing "how sad", but that's not really a solution to this growing problem of elder care. We are just starting this dialogue on how to care for the aging Baby Boomer population as a country. Individually, we need to be talking to our parents about their plans for old age. And individually, we need to take responsibility for our
Great article but so sad. I too was the caregiver for my grandmother and my great-aunt and it was one of the most wonderful, rewarding times of my life. Despite the hard work and stress involved, I would never ever give up the chance I got to spend more time with them, even as they became more "childlike" and I had to take on a parental role. There is something so innocent and heartwarming about this stage even though it is also heartbreaking that they are losing their adult personalities and independence. It was also a way to give back for all the kind things they did for me as a child and young adult. In the end, I was with each of them when they passed away, one at 95, one at 105. I don't think our society appreciates I grieved terribly after each loss but it made me feel closer to them to know I was there for them until the very end and hopefully they felt the same way too. Our society doesn't value the elderly enough especially those without families which is a real shame. We wil
I worry that I will become one of them, too. Women always outlive men. And I may never have children despite my efforts.
Sad...and True
Great article. As a "previous" caregiver, I couldn't agree more on the plight of the elderly around us. I like it so much that I subscribed to all your content so I will know when every you publish something new. Thanks again.
Excellent but very sad topic ...that needed to be addressed !!...Very well written article !!
Thanks for spreading the word Lonnette... it is my goal to volunteer at an old age home - a bit different from my past endeavors but one I think most deserving.
Thanks for writing this article. Very interesting and informative. I wish lots of people get to read it. An excellent write. 5 stars!
This is a terrible thing to think about! However, that might be what gets results. great job on this article. :)