The Embarrassment of an Alcohol Induced Blackout: As Experienced by an Alcoholic

Drinking alcohol in excess can cause a person to blackout. A blackout is a period of time when you are still conscious and are an active participant of life; you may act differently in this period than you normally do because you're under the influence of alcohol. It's called a blackout because you don't remember it. I've had many blackouts in my drinking career. All of my blackouts were alcohol induced.
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Liquid Courage

Normally, I was a very shy individual and I didn't know how to act socially. So, whenever I would go out; I would always drink alcohol, which was my liquid courage to be able to ask the pretty girls to dance. I didn't even know how to dance, that didn't stop me from trying though.

Blackout

Looking back on it now, it's just embarrassing to know that, that was me. Nothing good ever comes from having a blackout.

The Day After The Blackout

The day after the blackout is the worst because you don't remember what you did. Then, you have to go through the embarrassment and humiliation of other people telling you what you did and how you behaved. Hearing this news can crush your self-esteem and make you feel like a loser.

Worst Blackout Experience

My worst blackout experience was when I went to a company sponsored party. My boss was there along with his boss and other co-workers and friends. We were having a BBQ in the backyard of my boss's boss. I was my usual self as anti social as I can be. I started to drink some beer so that I could get some liquid courage up; so that I could talk to people, socialize, and have a good time. Now, after I drank a bunch of beer and I was on my way over to the grill to get a hot dog; I fell down on the sidewalk in their backyard and I split my head open. I got a bad cut right above my eye. I know what you're thinking, who the heck has a sidewalk in their backyard? That was my question too.

It's All A Blur

What followed after this is a blur because the only thing I remember is being put on a stretcher and being put into an ambulance. I was taken to the hospital.

Coming Out Of My Blackout

I remember coming out of my alcohol induced blackout and I'm in some hospital. I'm in a hallway and I'm lying down on a stretcher. I go to move only to find out that I'm handcuffed to the stretcher.

Help, My Nose Itches

My nose itches like crazy and I'm still buzzed from all of the alcohol that I consumed. I start yelling and screaming because I can't itch my nose because my hands are handcuffed to each side of the stretcher. When I got to the point when I calmed down a bit, I asked one of the nurses walking by if they would scratch my itchy nose for me. I was lucky that they took pity on me and scratched it for me.

Getting Stitches

After that I calmed down and eventually wound up getting a bunch of stitches, right above my eye. They said that I was lucky that I didn't lose my eye.

The Next Day

Going to work the next day was a nightmare. Everybody was looking at me funny; which wasn't a good thing. I somehow felt guilty for doing something but I have no idea what.

My Boss

It was a little bit later on in the day when my boss pulled me aside and told me what I did. I was horrified. I thought," how could I be such an ass?" It was the things that they told me that I did and that I said that made me feel even worse.
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Apologize

Another bad thing about a blackout, is that when you try to go back and apologize for the things that you did and said; you come across as sounding so insincere because you don't really know what you did, although it was explained to you. I was told that I had somehow wound up breaking the doorknob to the bathroom in this couple's house. I have no recollection of this and I'm flabbergasted that I acted in such a way.

Additional Blackout Incidents

There were other incidents when I would blackout; I would be at a bar or club drinking, and wake up in my bed the next day with absolutely no idea of how I got home. Then, later on in the day I would watch the news and hear about a hit and run. They would say that they were looking for a car and I would hope and pray that it wasn't me that they were looking for. I would feel this huge sigh of relief when they would make an announcement a few days later that they found the car in the incident.

STOP DRINKING ALCOHOL

Having a blackout is never a good thing. If you experience blackouts like I did, then it would be in your best interest for you to stop drinking alcohol.
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AA

stopped drinking alcohol with the help of AA, alcoholics anonymous. I've been sober now for over four years. I still go to AA meetings every day because I need to be constantly reminded of the kind of hell that I went through; so that I never go back there again.
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