The Embarrassment of Being a Victim

When it comes to self defense; there are a lot of natural tendencies that have to be overcome, one of the biggest is the feeling of embarrassment over being victimized.

I am a second degree black belt and I train and support the teaching efforts at the Upper Marlboro Martial Arts Center in Upper Marlboro, Maryland. The center has full martial arts classes in Tang Soo Do and Tai Chi. It also offers a self defense class for people who are not ready to immerse themselves in the art.

In the course of teaching classes we stress that the object of self defense is not to beat the attacker down and to emerge the hero; the object is to execute techniques that will allow the student to escape the attacker and get someplace safe. What I tell our younger students is, "Run away and call a cop; they get paid to do that sort of thing." We also stress doing anything to draw attention to the attack and it is this that is difficult under stress.

Yelling and screaming and calling for help in public is embarrassing. The natural tendency is not to want to draw that kind of attention to yourself; especially if you're a guy. It is difficult for a guy to call out and tell the world that he is unable to protect himself. The feeling is irrational because we are all vulnerable. None of us possess the capability to ward off every possible violent attack on the street. One of the most senior black belts in our school; one far more capable than me, was attacked by a man with a knife on the street. Things did not happen like in the movies. He missed with his big roundhouse kick and ended up in a grappling match; fighting to keep the blade away from him. He made enough noise to attract attention and the attacker finally kicked away and ran off. Justice was not served; good did not prevail, the attacker ran off into the night, but my fellow black belt survived with minor cuts. His technique helped him survive, but it was attracting attention that ultimately saved his life.

There are many stories written about the unwillingness of people to get involved; even to save another's life. There is a lot of truth in those stories, but there is also truth in the fact that an attacker does not want to be recognized. Just having people stop and stare, which is also a natural tendency, could be enough to make an attacker break and run.

Making noise is one of the best defenses. If a person avoids an attacker's first strike; the next step should be yelling as loud as they can. I recommend this even before running. Doing both at the same time would be best. If you think you will not be able to get out a yell; carry a whistle or some other loud noise making device with you and have it ready.

Techniques for avoiding that first strike and to get out of an attacker's grip do not have to be pretty. Things like stomping on a foot or spitting a real nasty one in your attackers face could do the trick. Self defense is for people; not for heroes.