The Emotional and Practical Roadblocks to Mother-led Weaning

Breastfeeding is a personal decision and experience for every mother, and stopping is a frequently an experience fraught with mixed emotions. Whether the weaning process is child-led or parent-encouraged, the end result is the same. But how a mother feels during the process - both physically and emotionally - varies greatly, particularly when she is the one initiating the end of breastfeeding.

Here are three mother-initiated weaning techniques.

Quick and Dirty

This technique is hard on both mother and child. The mother is likely to suffer from a few days of painful engorgement, and the child will likely cry and struggle to resume his or her breastfeeding activities. But when weaning needs to be completed quickly, the cold-turkey method is effective. Depending on the child's age, substitute a bottle of formula, a cup of milk, or a snack at each previously established nursing time. Substitutes and distractions are all helpful. The child will likely resist the substitutes at first, but will eventually eat when hungry. Remember, the time to finish will be brief.

Slow and steady

As a child gets older, the mother is returning to work and unable or unwilling to continue long-distance breastfeeding via pumping, or the mother is simply ready to stop nursing, slowly dropping one nursing session at a time is a gentle method of weaning. Start with the mid-morning or mid-afternoon breastfeeding session, and cut it out. Wait a few days or a few weeks, depending on the weaning timetable that is best for everyone, and drop another session. Most people drop the early morning and last nursing session of the day last, as these typically are the strongest bonding and comfort times.

Don't offer, don't refuse

This is the closest to child-led weaning in that the mother follows the lead of the child for ending breastfeeding. Some children lose interest in breastfeeding if it is not offered to them, particularly as they become more aware of everything around them, and as they experience the new flavors and textures of different foods. Follow the child's cues and milk production will adjust to the child's needs.

"Closing the milk store" takes time and patience for everyone involved, particularly when a child resists. Even when a mother is ready to be finished with breastfeeding - whether she did it for 6 months, one year, or longer - choosing to stop is likely to be an emotional experience.

Just because breastfeeding is over does not sever the intense mother-child bond developed during those sessions, and some other adventurous activity is around the corner to take its place. Feeling sad or nostalgic for the midnight feedings is not an uncommon emotion, and it is important for mothers to acknowledge that mourning the end of this relationship phase is a part of the weaning process.