The Empty Nest Syndrome

About five years ago, my wife and I had our youngest child move out on his own. The last of our two sons were finally on their own. A day that I thought would never come. Although I rejoiced myself, as I started to clear out his old room, my wife had different feelings. I guess the mother instinct was still there and hard to give up. As I continued to re do the old bedroom, many memories came back to me. Raising children had been challenging and fun.

A given in life is that things change. My focus immediately changed to converting his room to an entertainment room. I moved my computer into it along with an old television and a nice big Lazy-boy for reading and naps. I even found a place for an old radio. I finally had a place where I could go to just relax in privacy anyway that I wanted. Reading, without interruption for me, is a big plus.

Within a month, I noticed that I had more money. The power and water bills went down. My gas credit card started to recover as did my Macy's and Penny's card. There was more food in my fridge. I could easily find my tools in the garage. My car insurance bill dropped. Good things began to happen that I hadn't observed or even thought about before.

There was just one catch. I had to get my wife out of the doldrums of mild depression. Losing her babies gave her a hurt that I never realized before. She felt like she wasn't needed. She went on to say how the holidays wouldn't be the same. A valid point on her part. Now scheduling of holidays would have to be made. Communication with the children would now be limited.

I came back to her with the idea that now we are free. No commitments or responsibilities to our children like before. We were free to travel, stay out late, invite friends over, and privacy in our house. I told her ,"How great is that?"

Some parents not only have children to take care of but older parents as well. This is often refereed to as the "sandwich effect" Children on one side, parents on the other, and my wife and me in the middle. We didn't have that problem like other households do.

We have been giving, giving, giving. Now it was our turn to look out for number one, ourselves. No more sharing the television or phone. That bill dropped, too.

Finally, my wife started to relax and the motherhood concept started to go away. We started enjoying life together. We restaurant and bar hopped, traveled, and realized how dependent on each other we were. Our relationship grew closer. Life was great. That was five years ago.

Flash ahead to today. My son's room now has a bed, chest of drawers, same Lazy-boy, fresh paint and curtains. At the foot of the bed is a large toy box with the name Timmy on it. Two years ago we became grandparents. Although our empty nest is still empty, we now have our grandson spending time with us from time to time. Grandma is happy. Grandpa is ,too.

As I said earlier in this article, things change. There is an old saying that goes, "The more things change, the more they remain the same."