The Ephinany of My Life: When Life Seems it Cannot Go Any Lower

Jim has gone on for weeks complaining and seeing only the negative in life. He has become so desperate for help that he has sought out temporary sensual and aesthetic feelings. It is April 15th and Jim's day has gone downhill along with his actual life in general! After being mocked at work and in school Jim has finally had enough. Constantly complaining to his friends about his life they no longer want to hear it any more! They have grown impatient and indifferent with Jim.

Jim bent out of shape and feeling his emotions more so than before begins to cry. Jim begins to talk to himself saying "I do not understand. Where did all the happiness go? I followed my life to what I wanted to not have." Jim rarely shed's a tear except in very few circumstances. Jim has become every negative emotion embodied into him. Anything good he has lost sight of. Jim thinking back to what relatives have said to him about life reminds him that it is his perspective on a situation that makes things look bad or good. Jim stops crying and says "Of course it is my entire fault. All of this has been by me changing everything about myself and not accepting anything but what I do not want!" He sucks up his tears and feels better about himself. He grabs his journal again and begins to write in it. The entry reads:

"After yet another day of "terrible" work, I realize that everything that has happened at work is my fault. I have changed and not my co-workers. I used to be happy and not worry about what jokes were being cracked at me. Let them think what they think because, I know what I know! They said they were 'just kidding' and that I 'got bent outta shape.' I was blind because, I cared about what they had said and that changed me a lot over the year. I worried about things I could not control. Before this worry I was only concerned about the things under my control and the things I held important to me, ONLY! I made jokes and did not care which made everything a catalyst because, you reap what you so!

Jim Pauses and takes a break the cramps in his hand are painful from writing so fast! He continues after a few deep breaths and relaxes as he feels the weight of the world being lifted off his shoulders... He begins to write again.

"I realized that what made 11th grade so great was the fact that I was in search of having new friends and being happy with them. However, this past feeling has made me nostalgic and living for yesterday and not today. At the time of the collapse of everything around me about six months ago I became worried that everything would come and go. Until one point where I began to feel the jokes that we made and realized these jokes were very offensive. However, back than I blew over these jokes like nothing ever happened. Somewhere along the line I gave up something I was searching for all along and that search is and will continue to be TRULY HAPPY! This sudden Epiphany holds true in school also. Somewhere along the line I gave up on my humor, my fun, my happiness and my own plan for life. I betrayed myself and my own friends."

After writing this Jim felt freer than before and felt that it was possible to create what he wants his own life. This Epiphany though 17 days ago has changed Jim. His life has improved greatly and he is no longer looking at everything as a negative but a positive in life. If Jim encounters a problem instead of looming over it he thinks of the solution and quickly applies and his problem is gone! Jim feels more happier than ever before and believes everyday can be better than the last and that what goes up does not necessarily have to come back down!